Black Friday Alice Cullen Style!
by marykat
Summary: Alice challenges the whole family to see who can get the best deal shopping on Black Friday. Everyone uses their "gifts" and hilarity ensues! I have three words for you: Emmett, lingerie and dressing room! Post Breaking Dawn, traditional pairings.
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and all the characters. I own nothing except my measly little plot.**_

_**A/N: This takes place post- Breaking Dawn. Reneesmee is all grown up and she and Jacob have been married for a while, still living with the Cullens. Also, Black Friday is a tradition in the US where most major stores have incredible sales on the day after Thanksgiving (the last Thursday in November). Stores open crazy early like 3AM, and people sometimes camp out overnight to get the latest toy at rock bottom prices. It is insanity inside the stores, people pushing and shoving and fighting over something as stupid as a doll or a sweater. It really is a site to behold. It is natural to me (a fellow shopaholic) that Alice would decide to challenge the family to something like this.**_

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Alice POV

I checked to make sure I had everything we needed before I started my announcement.

- 10 copies of all the local papers from yesterday and today: CHECK

- 10 pairs of scissors: CHECK

- 10 notepads: CHECK

- 10 copies of the rules: CHECK

- $5,000 in cash: CHECK

"Okay everyone, please gather in the living room. I have an exciting game planned for tomorrow, but you **will** need to prepare. And when I say everyone, I mean _everyone_ Jacob! You are part of this family too! Don't think I didn't notice Nessie's future disappear while the rest of ours became clearer." Honestly, I don't understand why he has to be so difficult. You'd think after 20 years he'd realize that when I wanted something, I got it. I may be tiny, but I am persistent!

"So, this is what the incessant Christmas carols were about? Keeping it from me was a good idea Alice; otherwise Bella and I would be out of the country by now. You _know_ what she thinks of shopping, and that is on an ordinary day!" Edward grinned, knowing from my sporadic visions just how fun tomorrow was going to be, no matter what he said.

"SHOPPING? Is this that what this game is about? Forget it…Nessie and I are going to stay home. I'm not taking her out in that madness." Jacob was about to walk out the door when Nessie spoke.

"Jake, honey, I'm not a little kid anymore! You don't get to make the decisions for me. If Alice wants the family to play a game, we can at least listen to what it is all about. Then, we can make a decision TOGETHER about whether we want to participate." She beamed at me, having understood her father's grin to mean that this was going to be worth it.

"Fine, but only because you want to. I just want to go on record that I am doing this under duress." Jacob turned back from the door and stalked into the living room, spreading himself out on the sofa, leaving no room for anyone else.

Jasper, the traitor that he his, sympathized with Jacob. "If I had a nickel for every time I had to do something 'under duress' for Alice…" Smartly, he stopped talking once he noticed my glare. I know something _he_ wasn't going to be doing anytime soon.

I danced around, handing out my "game packets" to everyone. "Keep everything together; I will explain the game once everyone has their packets."

"Alice, you can't possibly want us to go out shopping TOMORROW! It's Black Friday for Heaven's sake; it will be a madhouse!" I chuckled as poor Esme's face seemed to get paler. She really abhorred violence, but she was just going to have to get over that for one day.

"Of course Esme! That's the whole point of the game! Now, let's read along as I go over the rules. Don't interrupt me – Emmett – please reserve all questions for the end." I had to nip that in the bud, as Emmett was planning on asking questions all night long until we ran out of time and had to abandon the game. I can't believe he thought he'd get away with it!

"So, obviously the challenge is centered around shopping on Black Friday. I believe you all know the theory here; all the stores have huge sales on the Friday after Thanksgiving to try and start the holiday retail season off with a bang. The stores open really early, and sometimes only offer the best deals for the first couple hours. They may have some sort of crazy cheap item advertised, but only have a few in stock. People get in line hours ahead of time to try and get those items."

"Our challenge is: to get the best deal possible! In front of you, you all have the same copies of all the local papers from yesterday and today. In them, you will find all the sales fliers and coupons detailing all the sales and possible discounts in the local stores. we are limiting our shopping excursion to the local mall and the stores in the immediate shopping center - on the list of rules, you will see the stores which are allowed, as well as the specific address of the locations. ONLY purchases at those stores count.

"Here are the rules:

1. Everyone has $500 to spend. Must use cash only, no extra discounts for credit card use.

2. The winner is the person gets the most stuff, based on original retail value of everything purchased.

3. You may either go solo, or as a team of two, but each person must spend their money individually. However, holding a place in line is allowed if you are a team.

4. Everything you buy must be something you would use for yourself. If it is clothes, it must be in your size and you must be willing to wear it. If there is a question, you will be forced to wear it to school next week.

5. If a store has a coupon, and you purchase anything in that store, you MUST use the coupon as well. Pay attention, because most of the coupons are extremely restrictive on what they can be used on. If you don't use the coupon, you get that amount deducted from your total purchase value.

6. All hours the stores are open are fair game. You may start lining up at exactly 12:00 midnight, if you so choose.

Ok, go to it! Jasper, grab our papers and let's go strategize."

"WAIT! No fair! You probably spent the last two weeks planning on how you were going to get the best bargains! You have to already know what is on sale, how much each store has in stock, EVERYTHING. The game is rigged, I'm not playing!" Man, Rose was pissed! Good thing I had planned for this.

"I see your point Rose, but I have not planned anything. I purposely did not look at any of the papers yet, nor have I tried to look into the future for the sales. You, of all people, should know how unpredictable these types of sales are. Stores get last minute shipments and directives from the corporate offices, so even I can't know how things will play out. People act completely irrationally in the crazed sale environment, so my vision for tomorrow is basically a blur. Obviously, I may have some advantages tomorrow, but I think we all have skills that will come in handy. For instance, I've seen what you are planning on wearing, remember?" Ha! Two can play at that game. Score one for Alice!

"OK, you win. C'mon Emmett, we have to beat the pants off those two!"

Bella and Edward just laughed, picked up their packets and walked off to their room arm in arm. Really, they were too sweet for words. Esme grabbed Carlisle's hand and dragged him to the enormous dining room table, spreading out all the fliers and laying them out by store type. "Look at all this cookware on sale! And these curtains and bedsheets! We are going to have to buy a new house so I have something to remodel. I wonder if there are houses on sale somewhere…hmmm, I'll have to look into that."

"So, are you guys in?" I asked as a formality for Jake's benefit; I obviously already knew Nessie was dying to play. I giggled at a preview of how she planned to use her gift. "That is ingenious Nessie, I don't think I would have thought to do that, and you know that is saying something." She blushed at my compliment, so much like her mother that way.

"Please Jake, I really, really want to play! Pretty, pretty please?" She was giving him the puppy dog look, batting her lashes at him like she used to do when she was little. As it did then, it worked this time. He rolled his eyes and nodded.

"You know I can't say no to you Nessie! Especially when you give me that look, it is so unfair. You better make it up to me." His eyes lit up at the thought of how she could make it up to him. Thank goodness I couldn't see their future very well; but he can't hide from Edward as easily. I heard a growl coming from his and Bella's room, and then Bella trying to calm him down.

"She's a grown woman Edward. They've been married for over 10 years, give the poor boy a break."

"Fine, but that's enough of that! Please do me the courtesy of leaving first the next time you want to think about things like that Jacob!" There was no mistaking the threat in his voice, but Nessie just rubbed Jake's hand and laughed.

"Thanks Dad! See you tomorrow after the game. On that note, let's get out of here Jake." Her mysterious smile indicated that she was definitely going to be making things up to him tonight.

Excellent, I was so excited that everyone was going to play. Jasper had already headed to our room with our packets, so I followed him up there. I knew we were all going to have a great time. I mean, it's shopping, how can it not be fun?

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A/N: So, how did you like it? Please, please review and let me know! I am planning on doing the shopping day from each character's perspective, either one chapter at a time, or one chapter per pair. After that, probably a chapter to wrap up the game and then this lovely story will be done! Like Alice, good things come in small packages :)


	2. Chapter 2: Military Preparations

_**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and all the characters. I own nothing except my measly little plot.**_

_**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my husband, who probably barely remembers what I look like without a keyboard and mouse attached to my hands! Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites! I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am. My strategies for shopping are based on my own experiences over the years in one small town mall, and my general theories on the retail industry. I never promised they were right!**_

**_A/N part 2: sorry! In my haste to post the chapter I forgot to fix a couple cosmetic things...all fixed now :)_**

**Chapter 2: Military Preparations**

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Jasper POV

"Hey, what is the prize we're playing for anyway?" I looked at my beautiful, crazy wife, flipping through the endless stacks of newspapers hunting down each and every coupon. Honestly, the things she gets us to do…

"Oh, yeah, the prize…," she paused, smiling mysteriously, always dangerous. "What a wonderful surprise that will be!"

"Oookaaay then. So, what's our strategy for this thing? I know you will 'see' all the best deals tomorrow, but I think we might want to plan out our logistics a little bit. That's why you have me, your military strategist!" If I looked at this as a battle, I found it ever so much more entertaining.

"Unfortunately, like I told Rose, what goes on tomorrow is so irrational and completely driven by split second decisions that I am definitely going to be at a disadvantage compared to how I normally operate. Not that there are going to be plenty of opportunities to 'spot' a great deal in advance, but we are definitely going to need your mighty strategies." My little pixie grinned at me, leaping over the mess of papers on the floor and landing daintily at my feet. "So, what did you have in mind?"

I got up, and moved over to big whiteboard we had on the wall of our room. It often came in handy when planning battles over the years, and other, well let's just say more _interesting_, activities. "Well, the last century or so of following you around and carrying your bags has definitely rubbed off on me. I have formulated a plan that revolves around the following key points:

1. It is a well known fact that in order to get the truly amazing deals (like this $1000 laptop for $50) you need an army of people camped out at as many of the locations of whatever store is offering it, and they needed to be in line this morning at the latest. So, I propose we ignore all those biggies.

1.a. In addition, we also avoid any stores that advertise these things, since most of the other deals won't be that good and the amount of people will be practically insurmountable. It may be possible to check in during the afternoon/evening hours, but we will rely on your visions for that.

2. Most of the stores that have the best deals and reasonable inventory also have coupons. I suggest a two prong attack on that front…you finding the deals, and I optimizing the coupon usage. I plan on studying the internet sites for the stores, to get an idea of things that are eligible for the coupons, this way I can minimize the money we have to waste to use them.

3. After hitting the major department stores, we move on to the smaller, Mom and Pop type stores. These are the next in line to have the best discounts, since they don't have the finances of a major corporation underwriting a season long sale; therefore they try to get the most they can this one day, and hope people come back because they liked the merchandise available.

4. And obviously, the final weapon in our arsenal are our gifts. You will look ahead for any unusual opportunities, focusing on the stores we plan to avoid. We don't want to waste unnecessary time there, or make your focus to great. I will work on trying to persuade other customers that they don't want something we need, and that they aren't really ready to get in line. This should allow us to shop the maximum amount of time without having to waste much in line.

Okay, that is enough from me! I haven't really thought about how we should break down how much money to spend in one place though. What do you think, budget per store, or buy everything and then return what we don't need?" I was unhappy presenting an unfinished plan, but I knew Alice had plenty of ideas.

"Wow, that is quite impressive dear! I think you just earned yourself a step up in rank on our next shopping trip – no longer will you simply have to hold all the bags!" Thank goodness she was smiling her 'I'm just joking Jasper, but don't tell anyone else' smile, or at least, I think she was. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into now???

She just shook her head and continued, grinning at me like a fool. "Well, I believe that I will 'know' which things we should buy, so it is definitely a good plan to have me go after the deals in the department stores. I already know we will benefit from at least one thing from Macy's, Nordstrom, Dillard's and JC Penney. So, you work on the coupon aspect for those four. We'll just wing it at the other stores, if I find we even need to go. You are definitely right about the 'big deals;' although I am having a fairly strong vision about a fashion makeover software program at Best Buy for 95% off. Regardless of the discount, that may be worth the fight."

"Ah, a virtual Bella Barbie? I think she would appreciate that." There was no way my Alice was going home without that software, so I altered my strategy to definitely include Best Buy. I picked up the flier from the pile and started thumbing through. "Ooh, look at the prices on these video games? Will they have any of the combat ones left by the time we get there?"

Alice ignored my question, stuck on the Bella Barbie comment. "Oh, now that she is perfect like the rest of us, she doesn't mind as much." I just looked at her; I knew _exactly_ how Bella felt about her makeovers, even now. "Well, she hides it better now, since she can't blush! Don't take my fun away from me Jasper!"

"I could never do that to you my love. Obviously she didn't want you to know, so just continue on the way things have always been. _Now that you've decided I'll make such a great shopping partner, she'll probably get out of some of those trips…_" I tried to mumble that last sentence so she wouldn't hear, but stupid vampire hearing always gets in the way. And why I would think I could hide something from a psychic, I have absolutely no idea.

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Alice POV

Oh, I knew it! This is a turn in our relationship I never could have predicted! I don't care if we win the game (OK, yes I do), but now I knew Jasper would _really_ go shopping with me in the future. I saw it all: trips to the Mall of America, the West Edmonton Mall, outlets galore! All hand in hand with Jasper, people conveniently deciding they simply didn't need the last vintage Chanel dress in a size 0! They all thought I was out of control shopping before; there will be no stopping me now!

Oh, that is quite a look I'm getting; I better quit my daydreaming and go back to our "strategy session."

"So, we've covered three of your four 'weapons.' I totally agree about the Mom & Pop stores, especially those that have unadvertised specials. Now, if we combine point 3 and 4, I think you'll find we can be especially successful. As you've pointed out, those stores probably aren't counting on making a huge profit tomorrow; more likely, they want to sell high volume, as well as get a lot of customer traffic that likes what they see and comes back later in the season. The fact that they actually care about their customer's experience is where we have the upper hand. Many of these prices will be open to negotiation…and that, my dear, is exactly your area of expertise!"

Jasper's tentative smile broke wide open when he marveled at these possibilities.

"You cheaters! You are probably going to get everything for free!" Edward whined from his room, hearing what Jasper had been planning in his head.

"Who's the cheater now Edward? Stop eavesdropping and work on your own plan!" He had his own extra abilities that will come in quite handy tomorrow. He's the last one that should be complaining.

"Fine. But you guys are GOING DOWN!" Whew! I don't know how Bella handled him when he got like that. I heard her giggling in the background, so maybe she just thought it was funny.

I tossed Jasper my laptop. "Start your research. Since you are not exactly an expert shopper, I suggest you make a list on the laptop and include pictures and prices of the things you plan to buy. That way, you won't be overwhelmed. Plan it out by store. We will be going to JC Penney first, followed by Macy's, then Dillard's and finally Nordstrom. We can print it out before we leave. I'm going to look over their fliers to get an idea of what I want to buy, and then work over all the other store's possibilities."

We both got to work, building up quite a list. "Honey, do you think you could use a Menopause Survival Kit? It doesn't appear to be on sale and costs 10.99; I could use the '$10 off an eligible purchase of $10 or more' coupon on it and only spend $0.99!" Jasper ran over to me with the laptop to show me what he was looking at.

"What on earth are you talking about? Menopause Survival Kit? Why would I need something like that? Have I finally driven you insane with all my shopping?" I was a little worried that perhaps I had gone too far this time. He looked pretty serious as he brought the description up on the webpage.

"Haha! Gotcha! Although the '0 to Bitch in 10 Seconds' book does look pretty interesting…but surely you don't need the ice pack or 'Hot Flash Mints." Jasper laughed when he realized I was actually worried about him.

"Hardy har har! Back to work, my shopping slave!" He was going to pay for worrying me like that.

I was so excited about tomorrow! It is a good thing I didn't need sleep, because that never would have happened. "JC Penney opens at 3:30, so let's plan to be there at 3:15. There won't be too much of a line, since most crazy people will be stalking the new Playstation at WalMart." Thank goodness we already had two of them, or Jasper never would have let the chance to have one at that price go. "Fortunately, it's going to rain all day, so we won't have to worry about dodging the sun. Unfortunately, that means we can't take the pickup or all of our stuff will get soaked. We're definitely going to have to take two cars. Wait! Did I say we were going to Nordstrom's after Dillard's? We have to go there third, or they will be out of the dress I want. It's perfect for our anniversary dinner; you are _really_ going to appreciate it. Wait! Maybe we need to go there 2nd? But they don't open until 8…" I was pacing around, trying to figure out how it was going to work. Ugh, why couldn't I figure this out???

"Alice, calm down. You said yourself that tomorrow is too unpredictable for you to see anything now. Relax, and look at it again tomorrow when we finish at the first store. I'll just print out each list by store, so I can mix them up in whatever order you come up with. As far as the cars go, I can always wait in line while you drive some of our purchases home…even if I 'persuade' a few people to leave the line, I doubt I'll move ahead by more than 2 people before you can get here and back to the mall, the way you drive!" Jasper rubbed my arm, trying to relax me. He knew I disliked him using his powers over me, so he tried everything normal he could before resorting to extremes. Immediately I relaxed, and smiled softly at him.

"My hero, saving the day as usual." I am really off my game! I must be too focused on the sales to miss simple things like that. I better get my head on straight. I heard a snicker coming from down the hall, so I taunted Edward in my mind. '_Now you'll never get to __**see**__ what Emmett is going to do tomorrow, you'll just have to imagine how it looked when you hear about it! Nana nana na na!'_

I grabbed the laptop out of Jasper's hand and quickly closed the lid. "Let's take a break for a little while, and I'll show you how much I appreciate your help…"

Let Edward _try_ and read my thoughts now…

_**A/N: I decided to give each team a chapter to plan, and at least one chapter to shop…thereby making the story a little longer. I am having way too much fun with this story, and couldn't resist writing about how each group would go about playing the game. BTW, any thoughts on what the prize might be? Shout outs to any who guess right! Thanks again for reading, and please review!**_


	3. Chapter 3: As God is my witness

_**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and all the characters. I own nothing except my measly little plot. A shout out also to Margaret Mitchell for the **__**Gone With the Wind**__** references.**_

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites! I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am. **_

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**Chapter 3: As God is my witness…**

**Edward POV**

"Leave it to Alice to find a new way to torture me with shopping!" I laughed as Bella dramatically threw herself on the bed, covering her eyes with her forearm.

"Yes, my dear Scarlett, Alice's main mission in life is devising new and bizarre methods for torturing you. Between that and planning new techniques for jumping Jasper's bones, she barely has time to think about anything else…" Bella's melodious laugh started as soon as I called her Scarlett.

"Oh Rhett darling, thank the Lord Almighty you have your amazing mind reading abilities to protect me."

"Bella dear, you know I adore you, but your southern accent is atrocious!"

"Yet another thing you are perfect at of course, but give me another 80 years to try and catch up."

I walked over and leaned down over her on the bed. "Why don't you show me some of the things you already excel at, my love?" Her eyes burned a deep golden ochre as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her.

Almost as quickly as we started, I pulled away from Bella and growled as I heard what was going on in the living room.

"… You better make it up to me." Jacob started thinking about just how my little girl could do that. _That's right honey; I'm talking about the red lace teddy and LOTS of chocolate flavored whipped cream…_

Luckily, my brilliant wife realized what was going on and she managed to restrain me from ripping off the head of my son-in-law. Even after her newborn power waned, she could still give me a run for my money in the strength department. She pulled me back down onto the bed and sat on my lap, trying to distract me. "She's a grown woman Edward. They've been married for over 10 years; give the poor boy a break."

"Fine, but that's enough of that! Please do me the courtesy of leaving first the next time you want to think about things like that Jacob!" Bella shook her head at my tone, but I was doing this for their own good. The next time Jacob's mind got fresh, Bella might not be there to save him.

"Thanks Dad! See you tomorrow after the game. On that note, let's get out of here Jake." To his credit, the dog kept his mind clean from then on. My darling daughter, on the other hand, picked right back up where Jake had left off in her own mind!

"Who does she learn this stuff from? Do you know what our 'little girl' was just thinking about doing to Jacob? No, you definitely don't want to know!" I was pacing the room, trying to calm down. They hadn't even made it out the back door yet, so I had a long wait for a respite from Nessie's increasingly disturbing thoughts.

Bella wrapped her arms around me from behind, laughing at my reaction. "Who does she learn from? Well, Rose and Emmett are definitely at the top of my hit list. And what exactly do you think was going to happen right here about 2 minutes ago? I know 20 years isn't that long to you, but it is to a human, well a half-human! And she's been emotionally and physically mature for much longer than most 20 year olds. Seriously Edward, eternity is going to be pretty long if you are going to continue to behave this way every time Nessie and Jacob think about sex! You've managed for over 100 years living with Rose and Emmett, although I don't know how, so you are just going to have to try and think about her as one of your siblings when it comes to stuff like that."

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess nothing is worse than the sex fiends we have for a brother and sister! I'll try to work on my reactions, but I'm not promising anything." I allowed Bella to pull me back over to the bed, but this time she turned her attention to the mountain of sales flyers piled up in the center.

"So, Mr. Butler, what do you suggest we do with these?" My ridiculous wife was really pulling out all the stops to try and get me in a better mood. I was going to have to take her on vacation to Mississippi or something so she could work on that accent of hers.

I picked up the stack of flyers and threw them on the ground. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!" And we picked up where we left off…that is, until I was distracted YET AGAIN!

"You cheaters! You are probably going to get everything for free!" Alice and Jasper were crossing the line! Intimidating innocent shopkeepers into giving them unheard of discounts? Hell, they could do that without Jasper's gift, but with it those clerks were going to be putty in their hands.

"Who's the cheater now Edward? Stop eavesdropping and work on your own plan!" Well, now I was finally motivated to do just that. They weren't going to get away with their plan, I had to find a way to outsmart them.

"Fine. But you guys are GOING DOWN!" Bella just giggled as she looked at me, trying to figure out what was going on. I quietly explained what Alice and Jasper were planning, trying to keep my attention on their thoughts so I could catch their next tactic.

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Bella POV

I swear, Emmett is rubbing off on him. Edward never used to be this competitive! I couldn't care less about winning this game, but I guess we had to make an effort now. _Great, you know if I 'do well' at this shopping exercise, Alice is going to think I have been converted into a shopaholic and force me to go with her even more!_ I glanced at my adoring husband, making sure he got the drift of that thought; it was possible he was paying too much attention to our competitors to hear me.

To my surprise, he shot me a guilty look, followed by his patented crooked smile with the question of forgiveness in his eyes. I hated that I could never stay mad at him long enough to punish him anymore. You'd think the longer we were together, the more I'd get used to him; but no, he continued to "dazzle" me more and more every day.

I groaned, and handed him some flyers. "C'mon Edward, let's at least start _looking_ at what is on sale. We have our own gifts to use and abuse the retail world with tomorrow. Think of all you can do simply by reading everyone's mind. You'll know if they really do have any more 'in the back' even if they say no. You'll know when someone else thinks something is an outrageous deal…and then we can just steal it from them. And don't forget your ability to dazzle!"

I could see the wheels turning in his mind, something was definitely up. He obviously hadn't decided yet, since Alice hadn't stormed in here to accuse him of cheating again. I figured he'd find a way to tell me whatever it was, so I just kept flipping through the sales pages, looking for anything I might like.

"Isn't there one of those indie record stores in this mall? Maybe they will have some decent music there…they are bound to have a sale too, right?" At least he was thinking of some helpful things now; but we weren't going to win by saving a dollar on a bunch of CDs.

"Yes they do, but I don't think we'll be getting much of a discount there. What do you think of these pillows? 75% off and they certainly seem like to have a lot of _feathers_ in them…" With that, Edward hit me with his pillow and finally snapped out of his stupor.

"If you want me to concentrate on this shopping madness, you better stop distracting me!"

"If _I_ want _you_ to concentrate? If I'm not mistaken, you're the one who told Alice and Jasper that they were 'GOING DOWN!' You know damn well that I'm only doing this to support your random competitiveness…we are talking about me, Bella, shopping on Black Friday, remember?"

"Hehe! Yeah, you better get your head on straight Alice!" Edward ignored what I said, obviously too busy muttering about something else Alice was thinking under his breath. "Oh, I forgot all about listening for Rose and Emmett's plans, what the hell is Alice talking about, what is Emmett going to do? Ugh! I think it's too late for that now, they're clearly past the planning stages and have moved on to 'other activities' for the remainder of the evening! I'm scarred for life after that image – you're right, I don't know how I've lived this long under the same roof as the two of them!"

"That's what you get for eavesdropping on your family. Even I can tell that Alice and Jasper have also moved on to 'other activities' by now, so don't waste your time there. Let's just try and figure out what we are going to do, and then you can worry about stalking the rest of them tomorrow." Honestly, he was so childish sometimes; I ran my fingers through his hair, chuckling at the state he had worked himself into.

"Now _that_ is a _plan_ Bella! I always told you that you were the smart one in this relationship." For some reason, he was staring at me as if I had just figured out the secret to cold fusion.

"What on earth are you talking about? You want to stalk everyone? What good will that do?" I was totally confused.

"Remember what we've been working on with Nessie and Jacob, with your shield?"

I thought back to the past few months and the work we'd been doing. It started with just trying to figure out if there was any way to keep Nessie out of my head, just for curiosity's sake. I found that if I could "double wrap", for lack of a better term, my shield around me, Nessie's projected images were so faint I wouldn't have known they were there if I hadn't been looking for them. I had tried to "double wrap" Edward and Jacob a couple times, and hadn't been that successful. But the last couple times I tried, I'd managed to keep Edward "wrapped" for a full 5 minutes.

"What is that going to do? So I can stop you from seeing Nessie's images? How will that help tomorrow?"

"Well, Alice had a vision about Nessie using her gift to help her and Jacob tomorrow. I didn't see the whole thing, but it seems as though she will be showing people things they are looking for, just in the opposite direction of where they actually are. And you can't just stop _me_ from seeing her images, you can stop _anyone_ from seeing her images."

"Okay, I can see your point there. But how can we get close enough to stop them without her and Jacob knowing?"

"I'll just keep tabs on where they are and when they plan on using it. We just need to stay far enough away to keep them from getting suspicious, and then zoom in; you wrap the intended victim and I buy whatever it was they were trying to get."

"That's brilliant my love! But do you really want to do that to our daughter? I thought your grudge was against Alice and Jasper?" I didn't mind playing these games, but I hated the thought of being the cause of Nessie's unhappiness, no matter how fleeting.

"You didn't have to endure her thoughts after I yelled at Jacob. She deserves punishment for putting me through that!" Edward looked serious enough that I didn't question his motivation. "But you do have a point about Alice and Jasper. We've never tried your 'double wrap' method on either of their gifts, but maybe we can try it out tomorrow."

With that, I broke into a huge grin. He didn't realize it, but we had actually done quite an experiment tonight. "Technically, that isn't true. Earlier, when you were arguing with Alice, Jasper kept trying to send you waves of hostility and competitiveness, trying to rile you up even further. I threw my double shield around you, trying to keep the worst of it away. Judging from how I felt from his forced emotions, there is no way they reached you. You calmed down much too quickly; I never would have been able to keep you from going downstairs and wrestling with Jasper if you had felt even a tenth of what he was projecting."

Edward dropped the papers he was leafing through, picked me up and threw me down on the bed. Pulling my Scarlett accent out one more time, I whispered to him. "Sir, you are no gentleman."

He stared deep into my eyes, hovering above me, teasing me. Huskily, he breathed his line to me. "And you, Miss, are no lady."

The rest of the plans were going to have to wait for a while…

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did! Keep on guessing about the prize, you haven't gotten it yet. And, I have no idea where the

_**Gone With the Wind**__** stuff came from, but I'll take whatever inspiration I get LOL :)**___

_**By the way, don't forget to check out my other (much more serious) story "Destiny of Dreams."**_


	4. Chapter 4: Mission: Playstationland

_**DISCLAIMER: let's try something different this time around:**_

_**Me: Hey Alice – did I invent a world of vampires and werewolves, write 4 best selling novels and make enough money to go on crazy shopping sprees whenever I want?**_

_**Alice: Uh, no MK, that would be Stephenie Meyer! But you did come up with this kick ass story where I get to shop on Black Friday – thanks for that!**_

_**Me: (blushes) Glad you are excited Alice; thanks for clearing up that whole "who owns everything" thing for me…**_

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites! I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am. **_

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Chapter 4: Mission: Playstationland

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Rosalie POV

Alright! _Finally_ a game I can get into. Usually the games we play are something stupid like "I Never" or "Truth or Dare." After a more than a century living together, we pretty much know everything there is to know about each other; so those games tend to get either boring or insanely wild, depending on how dirty we want to play. I still haven't gotten my Z3 back into shape after the last "dare" Emmett attempted. He's lucky it wasn't my BMW, or he would _still_ be locked out of the bedroom!

I am the Goddess of shopping! I will totally rule this game. Alice always thinks she is the best, but that's just because she can see what the sales are going to be and which stores are going to stock the newest designer clothes. Wait a minute…

"No fair! You probably spent the last two weeks planning on how you were going to get the best bargains! You have to already know what is on sale, how much each store has in stock, EVERYTHING. The game is rigged, I'm not playing!" The others haven't shopped with her as much, and, let's face it, when they do, they don't pay nearly as much attention to it as I do. No wonder she suggested this game…no matter how risqué the outfit I wear is, all the special attention and deals I get will be nothing compared to how detailed her plan probably is.

"I see your point Rose, but I have not planned anything. I purposely did not look at any of the papers yet, nor have I tried to look into the future for the sales. You, of all people, should know how unpredictable these types of sales are. Stores get last minute shipments and directives from the corporate offices, so even I can't know how things will play out. People act completely irrationally in the crazed sale environment, so my vision for tomorrow is basically a blur. Obviously, I may have some advantages tomorrow, but I think we all have skills that will come in handy. I've seen what you are planning on wearing, remember?" Alice _looked_ like she was telling the truth, and Edward's nod seemed to indicate he thought so as well. Although, I swear I could feel Jasper trying to calm me down and let go of my anger. Better get out of his presence fast so I could go with my gut reactions!

"OK, you win. C'mon Emmett, we have to beat the pants off those two!" I grabbed Emmett's hand and our game packets and dragged him to our bedroom. He looked pretty confused; I don't think he was really paying any attention to anything Alice had said.

"Do you even know what we are doing? We have to get down to business!" Seriously, I love him with all my heart, but he could really infuriate me.

"Yes Ma'am! At your service!" Emmett turned and saluted me, which only fueled my fury.

"We ARE NOT going to let those cheaters beat us, do you hear me?"

"Rose, baby, relax! Of course I know what we're doing—WINNING THIS COMPETITION! While you were out there arguing with the psycho pixie, I was starting our research. Look at this baby, it is practically free!" He pointed to the Wal-Mart flyer with the new Playstation on the cover.

"Emmett, we already have 2 of those in the house! Did you read the fine print…it says 'Minimum of 2 per store,' which really means ONLY 2 per store. People are probably already lined up hoping to be one of the two lucky people that get it. We really don't have a chance, since we can't get in line until midnight. Besides, I'm sure it isn't the only deal that good." I could tell from the look in his eye that he wasn't going to give up that easily. I tried to find something to distract him from his mission while he argued his point again. There was NO WAY that I, Rosalie Hale, was shopping at Wal-Mart! And I had my own plans for that closet he cleaned out for his stupid video game cave.

"Yes, I realize that they probably only have 2 in the store. And I realize people are probably already lined up. However, it isn't like I can't be intimidating when I want to, right baby? Plus, I totally have a plan on getting to the front of the line…" He trailed off when he noticed the flyer I was holding up.

"But what about this, sweetie bear?" I pulled out my sultriest voice for this one. "Most of these are 90% off, and that's just the price reduction…I doubt there is more than 5% fabric on this one…"

Lucky for me, Fredrick's of Hollywood was fully embracing the Black Friday tradition and was having one hell of a sale! The sales flyer was practically soft core porn. I felt their merchandise was too cheap and tawdry to actually wear, but Emmett loved the tacky things they had there. From time to time I'd indulge his fantasies…I guess this was one of those times. "Why don't you pick out some of your favorites for me to get tomorrow?"

"Um, yeah, that sounds like a really, really good plan. I better study up and figure out how to maximize our savings." Whew! Crisis averted. While he studied the flyer with the intensity of an IRS agent during a tax audit for Donald Trump, I began investigating the other sales.

My basic strategy was to work the designer angle. Sure, the major department stores had terrific discounts, but they also had those pesky coupons that were next to impossible to use. Most of them weren't even valid on any brand I would deign to wear, and usually had to be used on things _not_ on sale. It was going to be a waste of money, not to mention time consuming, to find anything that Emmett or I could actually use that fit the coupon profile.

The designer boutiques that I normally shopped at were going to be having sales, and wouldn't dare force their customers to use coupons. I should know; I was probably their best customer. That, coupled with the intimidating 'look' I was going to have tomorrow was our ticket to victory! These shop owners knew that by spending one hour in their store, I could make or break their sales goals. I had frequently spent more than what they typically made in a full quarter during one of my and Alice's sprees. But, I also had a reputation among the shops that made the owners quake in fear every time I walked in the door.

Twice, since we lived in this town, an owner of a boutique had been rude to me. From that moment on, every single time I was in the vicinity of their store, I would go in (looking ridiculously trendy and gorgeous, as usual) and disparage every item I saw to the store full of customers. The first time it happened, it took me 2 months to run them out of business. But the second time, I was better prepared. It only took me 2 weeks. From then on, all the boutique owners knew to give me whatever I wanted.

Unfortunately, for the sake of the game, I had a sense of fairness. I had already negotiated with the shop owners that regardless of their selling price, I was always going to pay cost, and that was it. I didn't think I would be able to get much more out of them, and I wouldn't feel right about forcing them to give me enough merchandise at prices less than what they paid to win the contest outright. I was going to be forced to let Emmett buy whatever he wanted at Fredrick's, especially since they had some fantastic deals; and we'd probably check out some of the other stores as well. I wanted to be able to go back to the boutiques another day…they always made sure I had the latest fashions as fast as possible. Their stuff was expensive though, so I wouldn't have to make that much up elsewhere; we could probably wing it tomorrow.

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Emmett POV

Okay, so I'm a sex fiend. I'm not afraid to admit it. C'mon, if you came home to someone as gorgeous and sexy as my Rosalie was, you'd be as sex crazed as I am! So when she handed me the sale flyer from my favorite store, and told me to pick out anything I wanted, I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven. Rose never let me shop there; she said everything was too cheap and tacky. That should have tipped me off right away.

After about an hour of carefully scrutinizing every outfit shown and making a list of everything I wanted, it finally dawned on me that Rose was using this as a distraction. But even the Volturi couldn't keep me from my own personal Playstation! I had a vision for a whole section of our room (OK, it's my closet, but I don't care about what happens to the clothes) to be converted into my own video game haven. I even had a name for it "Playstationland."

I already had the 60" plasma hung on the wall, the cushy couch set up across from it and the empty throne ready to hold the Playstation and all the assorted accessories I needed for the games. I had Esme help me build huge shelves to house all the games I was going to buy, **just for me**! I hated sharing with everyone else…they would spend days playing a game just so their name got to the top of the winners list. It was as if the whole family had banded together just to prevent me from being the top winner of any game! If I had my own Playstation, no one else could play it and I would always be the WINNER! The fact that it was going to help us win this silly competition was just the icing on the cake.

"Hold your horses there, my sexy little shopping diva! You aren't going to get away with this! Sure, it took me an hour, but I finally saw through your distraction tactics. You are NOT stopping me from getting that Playstation. You know how much I want my Playstationland dream to become a reality! I would never make you go to Wal-Mart, if that's what you're thinking. I may be easily distracted by sexy lingerie, but I am not an idiot! I told you I had a plan!" I'm telling you, she is never going to let me live down the time I took her to Chuck E. Cheese for our anniversary. How was _I_ supposed to know it was for kids? I thought that was some fancy chef's name, like the inventor of cheese or something. It seemed like a good idea, a show, some games, and it seemed like we wouldn't even have to pretend to eat anything. That was a _long_ 10 years she punished me. I surely wasn't going to make that mistake again!

"Fine. I guess I can listen to your plan – as long as it doesn't involve me even setting one foot in the parking lot of **that** place!" She still looked wary, but she was letting me continue, so I took that as a good sign.

"Okay, so I've heard about these Black Friday campout things the past couple years, I just never had a reason to try it before. You see, for things like this, most of the time it is the man's job to wait in the freezing cold for hours and hours until the doors open, and then barge through the rest of the crowd for the one thing he was waiting for. The guys usually go in groups, and treat it like a tailgating event with tents…they have a grill, beer, the whole nine yards! So I figure, I show up with a killer tailgating setup and get all the guys to like me. Then, I get them stuffed with that disgusting BBQ food they eat, like steaks and burgers, and get them drunk with tons of beer. This way, even if they manage to still be awake when the store opens, they'll be too out of it to get to the Playstation before me! What do you think?" I was practically jumping up and down with excitement! I was brilliant – that Playstation was as good as mine already!

"Well, that does sort of sound like it would work. Once you are in the store, there would be no stopping you from getting to the game faster than anyone. None of the stores I want to go to even open until 7am, so I guess you can do whatever you want until then! It certainly is an amazing discount, so it _will_ help us win. Just don't spend a lot of money on more games or crazy accessories that aren't on sale. There is plenty of time to fill up those cavernous shelves Esme made for you later. You may ONLY get the Playstation, and that is IT, do you understand?" I knew I had her won over when I saw the hint of a smile in her eyes, betraying the stern look she wore on the rest of her face.

"Fine, just the game and nothing else. I'm saving most of my money to spend at my favorite store, anyway, just for you!" Now that I knew the motivation behind her seemingly generous offer, I was going to take full advantage of it. Everything in that store that was on sale and her size was going home with us! And because of the rules of the game, she HAD to wear it!

This was shaping up to be the best Thanksgiving I'd ever had; that includes the human years gorging myself on all that turkey and dressing. Frankly, anything was better than last year when I decided we should try a traditional Thanksgiving meal and made everyone hunt wild turkeys. Jake and Nessie were the only lucky ones…after we discovered just how nasty their blood was, they opted to cook the turkey's they caught and truly have the traditional meal. Jake hasn't ever lost his hunger for human food, and compared to the turkey's blood, Nessie didn't even turn her nose up at the mashed potatoes and other fixings Esme made to accompany their main dish.

My lovely bride wrinkled her nose at the thought of everything I was going to buy for her. Maybe I'll go easy on her.

Then she shoved some flyers at me. "Ok, we still have a couple hours until you need to 'get in line' for your 'game', so let's not waste them. Take these flyers and figure out what the best deals are for each store." Maybe not…that was quite a sneer she gave me when she said "game."

I took the flyers and paged through them, not really seeing anything of interest. I noticed she had kept the Sears one for herself, and was carefully circling all the new tools she wanted for her precious cars. "Oh, perfect! I think I can finally finish fixing the Z3 with this new ratchet." She pretended to whisper that to herself, but I knew it was a zinger for me. Honestly, she can't blame me for what happened to that car. Jasper is the one who dared me…he should be the one who has to put up with this!

It was time I showed her who was really wore the pants in this relationship. I threw my papers on the floor and walked over to her. I grabbed the Sears flyer from her hand and tossed it across the room. The pages separated from the force of my throw and scattered all over the floor.

"Hey, I was looking at that! What are you do..." I silenced her sentence with my lips, as I picked her up and carried her over to the bed. I'd had enough of this planning crap. Time to do what Emmett and Rose do best…

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A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! I'm thinking of doing a one-shot of one of Emmett's exploits that are alluded to in this chapter. Let me know if you think it is a good idea, and which one you want to see – what happened to the car or the anniversary trip to Chuck E. Cheese. I'll probably put up a poll on my profile about it.

_**Please review! I love getting feedback, it inspires me to keep writing and helps make my stories better. Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers.**_

_**Check out my other story, "Destiny of Dreams," you can find it on my profile. It is a serious story, set just prior to Twilight where Bella time-travels in her dreams and meets Edward throughout his life…she thinks she's just dreaming and keeps trying to move on with her life. Will they meet in real life? Read to find out **__****_


	5. 5: Do they sell houses at the mall?

_**Me: Carlisle, you are a man of rules. Is there some sort of "disclaimer" rule that I should be following her?**_

_**Carlisle: Yes MK, there certainly is.**_

_**Me: Um, what is it? I love to follow rules!!!**_

_**Carlisle: You must inform all of your readers that Stephenie Meyer created us, the Twilight characters and you don't own anything except this very silly storyline!**_

_**Me: Uh, yeah, OK Carlisle. Thanks for insulting my story…maybe you won't get a present from Esme after all…**_

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites! I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am. I know I am having issues here with "passive voice"…it is my weakness and I appreciate any tips on how to fix it!!!**_

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Chapter 5: Do they sell houses at the mall?

**Esme POV**

I was a little apprehensive about the game Alice wanted to play, since they usually didn't involve Carlisle or me. And they usually ended badly; often with significant property damage or someone almost arrested! I realized my fears were well founded when Edward revealed that it somehow involved shopping tomorrow. Didn't Alice know what Black Friday was? Alice loved shopping, but this was too extreme!

"Alice, you can't possibly want us to go out shopping TOMORROW! It's Black Friday for Heaven's sake; it will be a madhouse!" I shuddered involuntarily, trying not to think about the crowds and all the pushing and shoving that went along with them.

"Of course Esme! That's the whole point of the game! Now, let's read along as I go over the rules. Don't interrupt me – Emmett – please reserve all questions for the end." Alice just laughed at me and shook her head. I guess we were in for an interesting day tomorrow…there really was no refusing Alice once she set her mind to it.

She caught my attention when she hit the fourth rule. "Everything you buy must be something you would use for yourself…" Hmmm, I hadn't thought about that! I do enjoy shopping for home furnishings and such. I was sure some of the department stores and home improvement stores on Alice's list were bound to be having sales. This could actually be fun after all!

I grabbed my husband by the hand and hurried him to the dining room. I wanted to use the massive table to get a good look at everything that was on sale and properly strategize. As I spread out the flyers, focusing in on the stores where I normally shopped, I began to get extremely excited, words just tumbling out of my mouth as they came to my mind. "Look at all this cookware on sale! And these curtains and bedsheets! We are going to have to buy a new house so I have something to remodel. I wonder if there are houses on sale somewhere…hmmm, I'll have to look into that."

Carlisle just watched me, smiling lovingly as he sat down in a chair holding a notepad. I slowed down my hunt for the perfect duvet when I noticed what he was doing. "Are you taking notes dear?"

"Yes, my love. There seems to be an enormous amount of possibilities laying out here, I want to make sure you get everything you desire." His eyes twinkled when he said 'desire.'

"You know that you're all I _really_ desire Carlisle! But right now, we need to get down to business! Those kids always think they are the best at these games; it's time to show them who's the boss!

"Yes ma'am _Angerler_! Do I need to finish my housekeeping duties before we shop?" My silly husband just winked at me.

"Hush dear, you don't want the children to hear you! If they ever found out how addicted we are to bad 80's sitcoms, we are in for a century's worth of teasing! You can get out your feather duster later _Tony_…" I smiled suggestively at him, knowing he'd catch my drift. "Just the same, check out Best Buy and Circuit City to see which DVDs are on sale…we still need a couple seasons of 'Three's Company', 'The Cosby Show' and 'One Day at A Time.'"

"You're right about the teasing, although I honestly don't know how we've kept it from them this long!"

"Ok, let's get serious. The house on Isle Esme hasn't been redone in about 5 years; I think it is due for an upgrade! Since Jake and Nessie might go there from time to time, I could certainly invest in some new cookware. Those new KitchenAid mixers look pretty snazzy, especially the tangerine color, and Macy's has a great deal on them."

"That sounds excellent; you know how much Nessie likes to make cookies. She'll certainly enjoy that. Perhaps you could design the rest of the house around that color you like so much?" **(A/N shout out to Baker's Chocolate story by Hawkins - see the link in my favorite stories)**

"That's a brilliant idea honey! I don't think I've ever used that color as a theme before." We are so perfectly matched; Carlisle understands me so well, even the small, seemingly insignificant things. I sighed happily as I thought about how deep our devotion ran. I definitely had to find something special for him tomorrow, something he would never suspect! My eye was caught by the Fredrick's of Hollywood flyer. _Hmm, that is an idea…_

"Could you bring me a pair of scissors dear? There are some in the kitchen." My husband dutifully walked into the kitchen to get me my tools. I took advantage of his brief disappearance to quickly peruse the flyer, finding a few options that were surprisingly heavily discounted. While everyone in the family assumed Rose and Emmett shared the most "physical" love, my true love and I enjoyed our sleepless nights as much if not more than our son and daughter.

"I've been thinking my love, and I've decided it is high time we won one of these competitions! You said it yourself – we need to show them 'who's the boss'! I'm all in, let's try to win this thing!" Carlisle brought my scissors back, as well as a winning mind-set.

"Dear, what caused this change of attitude?" Not that I minded his competitive side, but it was so rare for him to let it out.

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Carlisle POV

I walked into the kitchen at a nice, slow human pace. Esme needed scissors like she needed a steak dinner, but she clearly wanted some privacy for some reason. And far be it from me to deny that woman anything that was in my power to give.

Jake and Nessie were walking out the door to their house on the back of the property. Since they were the only ones who actually slept, as well as the most recently married, Esme always made sure they had their own space of some sort for privacy and quiet. Emmett has found that the hours between midnight and 3am were his best "gaming" hours; and it is hard enough for the rest of us to have privacy around Edward and Jasper, but when Edward is your father, that takes it to a whole new level!

After torturing Edward a little by envisioning their possible evening activities, I heard the young couple starting to strategize.

"Well, if you really want to win, what are we going to do? I know Alice said her visions wouldn't help that much, but I don't really believe her! They are getting so much better, she can even see us sometimes. By the way, what the heck are you planning that impressed the crazy pixie so much?" Jake still sounded reluctant, but like me, he could never deny his true love anything.

"Ha ha! I'll have to 'show' you later…I need to do some research on the Web first. As far as the rest of them, Mom and Dad probably don't care, Emmett will undoubtedly do something ridiculous that will cause them to lose, and Carlisle and Esme don't stand a chance!"

My darling granddaughter just threw down the gauntlet and she didn't even realize it! We don't stand a chance? We'll just have to show her what kind of shoppers Esme and I really are! I returned to the dining room with the scissors, handing them to my wife.

"I've been thinking my love, and I've decided it is high time we won one of these competitions! You said it yourself – we need to show them 'who's the boss'! I'm all in, let's try to win this thing!"

"Dear, what caused this change of attitude?" She smiled at me, looking slightly confused but mainly amused.

"_Your_ darling granddaughter intimated that we aren't even worth worrying about as competition during this game! I know we don't often involve ourselves in these types of things, but it is high time these youngsters learned that we are a force to be reckoned with!" I wasn't angry, simply excited by the chance to take our children by surprise.

"Oh my goodness. They are in for a shock tomorrow, aren't they? Well, perhaps not Alice. Despite her uncertainty about the sales, she probably saw some version of this. She probably forced us to participate just to enjoy the surprise tomorrow when we kick their asses!" My beautiful bride looked more stunned than I was when that phrase left her mouth.

"Well, if we better get planning if we are going to be kicking asses tomorrow…will we take names as well my dear?" I couldn't help but tease her, she so rarely spoke in the vernacular that the kids embraced. I gave her shoulder a squeeze and walked over to the list I had been compiling. "So far, we've got the KitchenAid and a variety of furnishings to match on the list. What else are you thinking, besides the DVDs – I'll need to check at the stores tomorrow, they only have example titles in the flyer."

"Hm, it really is too bad we can't shop for real estate at any of these stores. WAIT! This is perfect! The Home Depot is having a special Black Friday raffle. They are selling chances for $100 for a fixer-upper house a few miles from here! Wouldn't it be wonderful if we won that? I'm beginning to think that the back of the property isn't quite far enough away for Nessie and Jake to have the privacy they deserve." Her topaz eyes lit up in excitement as she read and re-read the raffle information.

"We can both enter, and we'll still have enough money to buy everything else you've picked out. When do they select the winner?" If we won the house, there would be virtually no way anyone else could come close to beating us in this competition. I doubted that any of the other couples were looking at The Home Depot for their shopping list.

"Even better news! This is a 'early bird special' so they are pulling the winner's ticket at noon! If we win, we'll still have hours to buy all sorts of things to furnish it with! Let's only buy a few things before we find out, things that will work in either the island house or this one." She was so excited, I briefly contemplated fixing the raffle. But Edward would find out and accuse us of cheating…we could easily buy the house from whomever won if she really wanted it. I had an idea that would put her over the edge of happiness.

"Why don't we go over to the house in a few hours and take a look around? I'm assuming it is currently empty, so no one will notice us there in the middle of the night. This way you can get all the dimensions and a good feel for the layout for your interior designs."

"What a spectacular idea! And I have another one…a way to kill time between now and then, _Tony_…" She grabbed my hand and towed me to our bedroom, her topaz eyes darkening in a sultry manner. I think I need to invest in real estate more often!

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A/N: Hope you liked this chapter – it was the hardest one for me to write so far. The poll is up about which one-shot of Emmett's exploits I should do. Let me know if you think it is a good idea, and which one you want to see – what happened to the car or the anniversary trip to Chuck E. Cheese.

_**Please, please, please review – or I will have Jasper make you fall in love with your dirty socks !**_** Just kidding (not about the pleas for reviews, just the Jasper part – he said he won't do that anymore after accidentally walking in on Emmett and a pair of Edward's sneakers). I love getting feedback, it inspires me to keep writing and helps make my stories better. Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers.**

**Check out my other story, "Destiny of Dreams," you can find it on my profile. It is a serious story, set just prior to Twilight where Bella time-travels in her dreams and meets Edward throughout his life…she thinks she's just dreaming and keeps trying to move on with her life. Will they meet in real life? Read to find out **


	6. 6: I'm a big girl now!

_**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and all the characters. I own nothing except my measly little plot. **_

_**A/N: Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites - special thanks to the anonymous reviewers since I can't reply to them! I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am. Sorry in advance for the bit of "heaviness" in this chapter, but this story is also about her struggle to be taken seriously as an adult.**_

**Chapter 6: I'm a big girl now!**

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Jacob POV**

"SHOPPING? Is this that what this game is about? Forget it…Nessie and I are going to stay home. I'm not taking her out in that madness." That crazy vamp was always dragging Nessie and Bella shopping, but this was insane! I shuddered, thinking about my Nessie out in the crowds of pushing, shoving and desperate humans. I started walking toward the door, expecting my beloved to follow me.

"Jake, honey, I'm not a little kid anymore! You don't get to make the decisions for me. If Alice wants the family to play a game, we can at least listen to what it is all about. Then, we can make a decision TOGETHER about whether we want to participate." When she finished her protest, I turned back to look at her. She captured me with her deep chocolate orbs and her gorgeous smile. I knew she hated it when I was overprotective; I certainly knew she could protect herself, but I just went crazy whenever I thought about her in any sort of uneasy situation. But when she looked at me like this, I just melted inside.

"Fine, but only because you want to. I just want to go on record that I am doing this under duress." Even though she had me wrapped around her finger and everyone knew it, I could still show I had some part in the decision. I walked over to the couch with Nessie following me, but I stretched out, leaving no room for her. She just laughed quietly at me, barely loud enough for me to hear.

"If I had a nickel for every time I had to do something 'under duress' for Alice…" Jasper was in the same boat as me; for that matter, all the Cullen men were. We were putty in our women's hands, and when the women banded together there was no stopping them! But based on the look on Alice's face, Jasper might have crossed the line…he was going to be lonely later HA!

Alice explained the game, but I tuned out. I would accompany Nessie, but she was going to be running the show. Eventually, I noticed that the rest of the family had faded from the room to develop their game plans.

"So, are you guys in?" Alice asked, as if she didn't already know. "That is ingenious Nessie, I don't think I would have thought to do that, and you know that is saying something." My love blushed a deep pink; she was so much like her mother. I wonder what she was planning?

"Please Jake, I really, really want to play! Pretty, pretty please?" She looked up at me from under her lashes, batting them at me. As usual, I caved to her puppy dog look; I just rolled my eyes and nodded my approval.

"You know I can't say no to you Nessie! Especially when you give me that look, it is so unfair. You better make it up to me." That's right honey; I'm talking about the red lace teddy and LOTS of chocolate flavored whipped cream…she was going to OWE me BIG TIME!

Suddenly, I heard a growl and some struggling coming from upstairs. Apparently my dear father-in-law had been assaulting my mind again. Serves him right for invading our privacy! It was bad enough to live with your in-laws; but not to be able to even have the privacy of our minds made it even more difficult. At least we had our little house in the backyard as a retreat, just out of "mind reading" distance.

"She's a grown woman Edward. They've been married for over 10 years, give the poor boy a break." Heh, Bells coming to my rescue again!

"Fine, but that's enough of that! Please do me the courtesy of leaving first the next time you want to think about things like that Jacob!" My one-time rival sounded more threatening than ever, but I knew our women would never let him hurt me over an indiscrete thought; especially not since it was the same type of thing he and the rest of the men around here had all the time about their wives! I guess I could try and control myself around him a little better; I had been slipping a lot lately.

"Thanks Dad! See you tomorrow after the game. On that note, let's get out of here Jake." My beautiful love gave me "my" smile – a mix of mystery and mischievousness that caused my mind to want to wander again. I held it in check, focusing on the rules Alice had detailed out to us for her silly game. She took my hand and towed us out to our house, "showing" me just how she was going to make it up to me…boy did our minds think alike! I heard Edward groan again; I squeezed her hand to remind her. She winked at me and continued her fantasy session until we reached the house. At least he couldn't blame me this time!

"Now, let's just spend a few minutes strategizing, and then we have all evening to make that little vision come true!" Still powerless against her captivating smile, I simply sat down on a chair and started rifling through the papers Alice had armed us with.

"Alright, but you _really_ owe me now! Let's take a look at the sales and see if there is anything we want." I figured if we just looked through all the advertisements and picked out a few things we actually liked, we could be done with our planning and move on to the making up part of the evening.

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Nessie POV**

Jake and I sat quietly for a while, flipping through the flyers and occasionally taking notes about things we liked. I reflected on the earlier activities, huffing in frustration over being treated like a child, _yet again_, by both my husband and my father.

"What's wrong honey? We don't have to do this, you know. Alice will get over it, I'll talk to her. You don't always have to please everyone." Jacob sounded serious, but he also had a hint of excitement in his eyes, most likely from the thought of _not_ participating. Ugh, he infuriated me sometimes! I grabbed his arm, unable to form coherent words, and _showed_ him my feelings in a series of memories.

_My frown, mirrored in his eyes when he pulled me out of the driver's seat of my Porsche Boxter on the day Alice gave it to me, not letting me drive it simply because I had only passed my driver's test that day._

_My mother and father huddled together, worried looks on their faces when I asked to go to school for the first time when I was 6 and fully matured._

_Emmett pointing out a bear cub for me when we went hunting together a few years ago, even though there were several full grown bears in the same area._

_The look of fear on the face of the boy in my gym class that accidentally hit me with a ball on the tennis court when Jacob ran over from the track to make sure I was okay, shooting death glares at the poor kid._

_My father yelling at Jacob tonight just before we left._

_The image of my face falling, reflected in the window, as I heard Jake say "I'm not taking her out in that madness." and realizing he still thought of me as a little kid he needed to protect._

A single tear rolled down my face as I struggled to compose myself. Crying was not going to help me win this argument. When I finally met his eyes, I was blown away with the love and devotion I found.

"Nessie, honey, I'm so sorry you feel like that. You have to understand that no matter how old you are, I will always be crazy overprotective of you. I don't think you can comprehend the depth of my love for you and what would it would do to me if anything ever happened to you." I threw myself at him and crushed him into my arms with all my might, nuzzling my head into his chest. Our bond was so strong; a little fight could never keep us apart for long. "Everyone knows you control everything we do! You have me wrapped around your little finger, and that is my favorite place to be. I can't deny you anything, and if braving the Black Friday crowds is what you what, that's what you get! I may be protective, but I realize you know your own mind and you are the one who makes the decisions for us – haha – just like the rest of the Cullen women! And as for the rest of the family, they appreciates that you are all grown up now, but they miss having someone to protect. They had your mom for a while, and then you. Now, I think they feel a little empty, maybe without a purpose or something. "

"I just feel so frustrated sometimes; as if all anyone ever sees is the little girl I used to be. I always think that because my body grew up so fast, you all still think I am 6!" I started to smile a little; I could never stay mad in Jacob's strong, loving arms.

"Honey, you _know_ I don't think of you as 6! And if you give me a chance, I'll prove it to you. RAWR!" My ridiculous husband, always thinking of sex no matter what! "Wait, is that why you were thinking all that stuff as we left the house? To punish your dad? HAHAHAHA! If it was possible, I think I just fell even more in love with you!"

"Okay, okay, I've made a full recovery on the whole angst thing. I'll always be the baby of the family and I guess I'll just have to deal with it. And as resilient as I am, I'm still the most breakable of everyone, so I can sort of understand. But, I WANT TO WIN THIS GAME! They will _learn_ that I am not someone who needs her hand held in a competition and they should give me more credit!" I was determined to show the rest of the family up and prove how capable I was, even if shopping was the competition. I was so caught up in my competitive fervor, I inadvertently "showed" Jake my burning desire to win.

"I knew you were competitive, but this is a whole new level. It is so…sexy! I repeat, RAWR!"

"Enough with the RAWR! The longer we talk, the longer until we get to that part honey." I grinned crookedly, channeling my father. Jake just sat down and crossed his arms.

"Fine. So, what was the pixie talking about that was so ingenious?"

"Oh, I almost forgot about that! Well, I guess when I said I didn't need my hand held during the competition I wasn't really telling the truth. It will be easier if I demonstrate I think." I took Jacob's hand and "showed" him how my plan would work. I pushed random images through his mind, similar to what I planned to do to unsuspecting shoppers tomorrow.

_A shorter line at a different checkout counter._

_A cheaper price on an item at another store with a sign calling it out as "Unadvertised Special!"_

_An image of a game breaking as soon as two young boys got their hands on it._

_The sullen salesclerk cutting up a declined credit card._

_An unflattering picture of the shopper wearing whatever they were planning on purchasing._

"Wow, honey; that is brilliant! Between your images and my pure brawn, we'll be able to get whatever we want and always be the first in line to check out! I love it!" Jake was now vibrating with excitement. He hated shopping, but he loved playing tricks on people. Unfortunately, now that I had shown him this idea, he was going to ask me to use it all the time just for fun!

"I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not going to get Emmett to think a monkey is Rosalie!" Although, the idea did have some merit…

"Wh-, how the hell did you know that? Did the psychic tell you or something?" He stuttered, trying to figure out how I knew his plan.

"Ha ha! No, you are just really predictable. And after the last time we all went to the zoo, you murmured in your sleep about how you needed to 'get Emmett to make out with a monkey' for a week straight! Of course that would be your first plan!" I just laughed at my love; really he and Emmett came up with the strangest things to do to torment each other. And when Jasper joined it, it was just trouble. Like the time they persuaded Emmett that Chuck E. Cheese was a super romantic dinner theater restaurant that Rose would love for their anniversary. I believe the main selling point was the fact that food was optional; I'm not sure he's finished his punishment for that one yet!

"Oh, yeah, I suppose that one was pretty easy to guess. So anyway, what are the things we are going to persuade other people to not buy so we can? Your plan will work great, but we need to figure out what we want to buy first, right?" Embarrassed, he steered the conversation back to the task at hand. He was probably hoping I'd forget what happened at the zoo that made him want to get Emmett to make out with a monkey. But like that elephant, I'll never forget! However, he was right in that we needed to get back down to business; I'd give him a pass on that memory for now.

"Did you find anything you liked in the flyers you were looking through? I found some great deals at some stores that have coupons, but I'm not sure what to use the coupons for. Alice was right; they are pretty tricky to get rid of without wasting a ton of money." I wrinkled my nose in contemplation; I'll be damned if these stupid coupons were going to stand in the way of my victory!

"You are so gonna love me for this! I have an equally brilliant plan myself! You know that super fancy silverware you like so much? Well, I looked at it once, thinking I might get you a set for your birthday." He paused when he noticed my quizzical look. He had never given me silverware for my birthday. Usually he got me cars or jewelry or motorcycles. And what did this have to do with tomorrow? I was about to pepper him with questions when he continued. "When I realized how expensive it was for a stupid spoon, I decided to get you the Ducati instead. I mean, how often do we even use silverware? Anyway, I started thinking about that when I was looking through the Macy's flyer. They never have that stuff on sale – so it will be perfect!" He reached out his fist for a bump, truly proud of himself.

I left him hanging, still baffled by what his plan was. "If it isn't ever on sale, chances are the coupon can't be used on it. That's usually the case with the designer stuff. Especially sterling silver." It was a good try, but I started thinking again about what else we could do.

"I have that covered. When I went to look at it, they said if I wanted to buy one piece at a time, the coupons would be accepted. I double checked on the flyer here, and it says that is still the policy – and not just at Macy's! So, we buy a $20 spoon and use the '$10 off $20' coupon and not only save 50% on it, but also be able to buy whatever else we want there! They had my favorite brand of boxers on sale for 80% off! We can use all the coupons at all the department stores to get a few pieces for your collection. Then I promise we can get the rest for Christmas. Hell, Alice is probably already planning on buying it for you!"

"That, my dear, is an excellent plan! Well, I think I have my list ready to go now too. It's time for the second half of the evening to begin!" With that, I skipped into the kitchen to grab the chocolate whipped cream and bowl of strawberries. Jacob had already stripped down to his boxers before I even left the room…

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A/N: Woo, it's getting steamy in here! You'll have to use your imagination for the rest of that evening, or bribe me with reviews to do a one-shot of their whipped cream filled evening! The next chapter will start the actual shopping; I'll probably continue one chapter per couple, but as they run into each other throughout the day I may mix up the POVs a little bit. Please, please, please review and let me know what you think!**_

_**Don't forget to check out my other stories "Destiny of Dreams" (a serious BxE story about Bella "meeting" Edward in dreams while she still lived in Phoenix) and "Twilighted Pets" (a really silly story about what would happen if my pets were Twilight characters – WARNING – it is REALLY silly!)**_


	7. 7: Don't underestimate the humans

_**DISCLAIMER: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

_**A/N: And the shopping finally begins! Since this is the first thing to happen chronologically, I thought I'd start with it. I may jump between couples in the next few chapters to tell the story the best. **_

_**Thanks to everyone for the hits, reviews and favorites – especially my faithful reviewers musiclax, jasper-hale-lover, Hawkins, SilverVampireLover,VampiresWizaresCliquesOhMy, FanWriter95, Dom-Loves-Kel, ponycullen, xSteffers,JaylaHaileyCullen, evenstar710, the Darksider, PrincessJess, Ketia, EdwardCullen4Life, spungebob, and skyechaos! Check out their stories when you get a chance…they've got some great stuff!**_

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Chapter 7: Don't underestimate the humans…**

**Emmett POV**

I caught the alarm clock just before it smashed into the wall. "Dammit Emmett, make that thing stop! Why do you have to leave now? I was just going to get out my pom poms!"

Rose was trying everything she could to distract me from my mission. An hour of "snoozing" later, I had finally found the strength to break away, just before she broke the alarm. Thank goodness I had the thought to set an alarm…otherwise we probably would have missed the whole competition! Wait, did she just say pom poms? Down boy, think about Playstationland!!!

"You know why I have to leave! I need to get my supplies and get out to the Wal-Mart to get in line. I still have to load everything from the garage into my Jeep." Ugh, that part was going to be the worst. How humans ate stuff like that, I will never understand. I guess the meat was one thing…I could kind of understand that. But the breads and vegetables and desserts like ice cream; it boggled my mind. Especially the ice cream, so slimy and cold (at least to them, to me it was warm), who in their right mind would eat that stuff. I grimaced just thinking about it.

"See, you don't really want to go out in the cold and sit around with a bunch of stupid humans. Stay here with me baby, you know you want to." The sexy vixen purred her words, letting the strap of her negligee slip off her shoulder. NO, she was not going to distract me anymore!

"Rose, baby, you mean the world to me. And, you are sexy as HELL, but you know how important Playstationland is to me. Once we win, I promise you a whole week away where we don't do anything but each other. Please just let me go!" I gave her my puppy dog look, knowing that the rest of the day would be so much easier if she gave me her blessing.

"Fine, go and do your 'tailgating' thing. Come home and get me when you're done so we can hit the other stores together." She sat on the bed with her arms crossed, but I could see the smile in her eyes. I leaned in for a quick kiss, lingered for a deeper one, and then left before I lost my resolve.

"I'll see you later baby! Your monkey man is on a mission."

I threw the grill in my Jeep and raided the freezer in the garage. With as many mouths to feed as we had whenever the pack came for a visit, it was critical to keep a large supply of BBQ food on hand at all times. I threw everything in the back with the grill, as well as a couple cases of beer that I had already chilled in a cooler. These wussy humans were going down!

I pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot and grinned. There were only 4 cars in the lot at that point, and the line looked pretty short at the entrance. I parked close to the door and headed to the line in order to size up the competition. There were 3 men and 2 women, all of which were sitting down in a makeshift campsite huddled in sleeping bags and blankets. They looked really cold and tired; this was going to be like taking candy from a baby!

I started paying attention to their conversation as I got closer.

"We are getting the Playstation this year. If I go home without it, my wife will probably throw me out!"

"Yeah, remember the Dancing Elmo year? You had to stay on my couch for a month! She only let you back in because you flew to China to get one!"

"People think we're crazy for coming out this early, but if you do it like us, it's actually a lot of fun."

I decided to introduce myself at that point. "Hi everyone! I've always heard this could be fun, but I've never done it before. My name's Emmett." I tried to "dazzle" them the way Edward always did, or at least not make them too scared.

The biggest guy in the group stood up, trying to show some strength, I guess. "Howdy Emmett, name's Norm. This hear is Joe, Frank, Sally and Emma." He nodded around the group, indicating which name belonged to which person. Then he nodded to the security guard I hadn't noticed before.

"Sir, here is your wrist band. You are officially 6th in line. At 3AM they will begin distributing the vouchers for the special deals. You may choose one voucher that is still available when your turn comes up." He slapped a hot pink wristband on me and affixed it with some sort of ultra sticky tape.

"Uh, thanks man! I guess I'm in! So that's how you keep track of the line, with wristbands?" I was trying to get the lay of the land, this was not something I was anticipating. Each member of the group was holding onto their wristbands pretty tightly, although I could already tell they'd be impossible to take off and use again.

Norm answered me; he must be the spokesperson for the group. "Yuppers, but once they start passing out the vouchers we have to get in an actual line. Wristbands are only for the vouchers. This year, they have vouchers for the Playstation, the micro laptop, the 84" plasma tv and the "Sparkling Edward" doll."

"Cool, cool. Well, are you guys hungry? Some of my buddies down in Texas said they usually treated this like a tailgating event, so I came prepared. I got a grill, a cooler full of beer and another cooler full of steaks." I was enacting the first part of my plan; lure them in with food and beer and get them to like me. I had to play my hand close to the chest. I didn't want them to know what I was here for until I fully assessed the competition. If there were only 2 vouchers for the game, it was pretty unlikely that only one of those guys was here for it. I mean, who the hell waited hours out in a freezing parking lot for a "Sparkling Edward" doll; what the hell was that anyway?

"You got any coffee?" One of the women, Sally I think, spoke up first. Thank goodness for women's intuition. Rosalie's only contribution to this part of the plan was a huge thermos of coffee she was sure I'd need. I only took it along to make her happy; she'd be tickled pink that she proved me wrong yet again.

"Sure thing Sally, do you want cream or sugar?" I poured on the charm with every word. I opened up the back of the Jeep and started pulling out all my coolers.

"I like my coffee black." Sally said that rather strongly, and then added in a whisper, "just like Emma likes her men." I chuckled, but tried to keep my usual guffaws in check since I wasn't supposed to hear it. I wondered what the story was with that…Emma was pale and blond, with light blue eyes. Pretty, but she had nothing on my Rose.

"What's so funny?" Joe had come over to investigate the stuff I was pulling out of the coolers.

"Oh, just a little joke my wife pulled on me. I asked her to pack me a little bit of coffee, but she gave me this gigantic thermos! Thank goodness you guys are here to help me drink it. She makes amazing coffee; I'd hate to waste it." As a Cullen, I was an expert at coming up with a cover story in a record amount of time. Plus, I was sure whatever coffee in that gargantuan thermos was excellent; Esme would have nothing but the best in her kitchen.

"Cool, coffee would be great. Hey, are those porterhouses? Holy cow, they have to be 2 inches thick? Fire that grill up man! Norm, Frank, you gotta see the steaks this guy has! Throw away the PB&J, we got ourselves a gourmet feast!"

Norm and Frank strode over, trying not to look overanxious. I fired up the grill and threw on a couple steaks. Joe had already cracked open a few beers and was handing them out. I was hoping I could get out of this ordeal without having to actually eat or drink anything. I took the beer Joe offered, and stealthily started pouring it out little by little every chance I had.

As we continued to cook, the ladies wandered over to get coffee and some of the cookies I had stolen out of the pantry. I'd have to replace them or Nessie would have my head! She had a thing for chocolate chip. **(A/N if you haven't read Hawkins story Bakers Chocolate yet…DO IT NOW…after you review this chapter of course!)**

Everyone grabbed their beverage of choice and fixed a plate of food. We all headed over to the makeshift campsite. While the steaks were on the grill, I had dragged out my chair and added it to the collection by the storefront. I steered the conversation around to their shopping plans, hoping I still had a chance at the easy way to get the game.

"So, what are you guys camping out for? A 'Sparkly Edward' doll? What the heck is that anyway?" I really wanted to know; maybe it was something I could taunt Edward with. That would be fun.

Sally piped up at the mention of the doll. "Sadly, yes, I am a 45 year old woman waiting 6 hours in the freezing cold for a stupid sparkling doll. For my 15 year old daughter! A doll for a teenager! But she deserves it, she helps me out so much around the house and it is the only thing she wanted for Christmas."

I was even more confused now. "But what is the doll for? I've never heard of it?"

"Have you ever heard of the Twilight books? The doll is of one of the main characters. My daughter is obsessed with it too, but luckily she doesn't want a doll. She says she prefers to think of the characters the way she has envisioned them in her mind, whatever that means. None of us have read the books, so we don't know what the big deal is." Emma came to my rescue and tried to clue me in.

"No, never heard of it either. So it is basically just a doll that goes with a really popular book then? Okay, no big deal to me." That was pretty stupid in my mind. If it was some cool action figure like a life size GI Joe or something, then maybe I would understand.

"Me n Frank are getting the Playstation. Last year he was supposed to get it, but he drank too much and slept through the opening of the store! His wife just let him back in their bed in October, heh!" Norm laughed; probably this wasn't the first time Frank had been kicked out of the bedroom.

"Yeah, I'll only be drinking coffee tonight! I had that one beer, but that is my limit. There is no way in hell I am leaving without one of those game systems." Frank narrowed his eyes at me, as if he was daring me to challenge him. It definitely wasn't time for that. A bit of attempted sabotage maybe, but not an outright challenge.

"I hear you buddy. I wrecked my wife's car and she wouldn't put out for three months…and when you are used to 3 times a day, that is a LONG three months!" Let's start by making them jealous. I had a picture of Rose somewhere, didn't I?

"Th-three times a day? Is that even possible once you're married? You guys must not have kids, right?" Joe looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. I slowly took out my wallet and flipped to a shot of Rose in her bikini that I took our last trip to Isle Esme. Well, "bikini" might not be the right word…perhaps "piece of tiny string" is more appropriate.

"Does she look like she's had any kids? Nah, we live with my family so sometimes it is hard to get privacy, but we manage somehow. It's pretty hard to resist her, no matter who I think can overhear us. Over the years they've learned when to clear out!" That was so true; Edward "heard" us a few too many times, so now he usually waits to listen to our minds until he can actually see one of us. Sure, he'll happen upon a fantasy most of the time, but it isn't nearly as bad for him as when he catches us in the act!

Even the women couldn't tear their eyes away from my woman. And I couldn't blame them, I couldn't either. Damn, she was so HOT…what the hell was I doing here?

"So, what are you here for? If she is gonna withhold sex if you don't get it, you must be pretty desperate, he he!" Frank recovered fastest, probably thinking this might be a ploy to distract him. He might be trickier than I thought. I had to think fast to come up with something believable.

"Oh, I'm here for the TV." There was a collective sigh of relief from the crowd; it seemed there wouldn't be a competition for that. I guess they figured if it came down to it, I might use my size to get whatever I wanted. Well, they probably figured right! "And the wifey could care less if I get it; it's for my game room, which is a place she rarely ventures." It's true; I could definitely use another TV for Playstationland. And it was almost as good a deal. I could always order the game system on the internet or ask Alice to go to Japan or wherever they make it to pick one up. Goodness knows that crazy pixie loved _any_ excuse to shop. I didn't need to cause a ruckus just to get a Playstation; as long as we still won, that was all that mattered.

We settled in, waiting for the vouchers. I mainly just listened to their gossip, throwing in a few tidbits so they felt comfortable around me. After a while, about 20 more people had gathered around us, all with their wristbands marking their spot in line. Since Joe was also getting the TV, I was the last one to get that voucher. Some dude who was the next person behind me became absolutely irate when I took the last TV one. The security guard took him to the side and told him he had to calm down or he wouldn't be allowed in the store at all. That didn't really help, but the menacing glare and slight growl I threw him definitely had an effect.

After that, he just kept to himself, planning out loud the fastest route to the electronics department. Apparently, even though there were only 2 vouchers, there were possibly more than 2 of the TVs available, and the rest would go to the first person who reached them. Whatever, I was gonna get an awesome new TV and help my Rosie win her game!

Finally, 3:55AM the security guards came to the doors, explaining the opening procedure. "Everyone stand in line, one person behind the other. At exactly 4 o'clock, we will be opening the doors and you will be free to file into the store. DO NOT RUN, I repeat DO NOT RUN! Anyone caught running to get in the store will be removed and not allowed to return until Saturday. We've had too many people hurt at these things; you will be allowed to move more quickly once you are actually in the store."

After 5 more minutes, they opened the door and the pandemonium began. I had been in some serious fights with other vampires, the Volturi, grizzly bears, you name it, but I had NEVER seen anything that compared to this. These people were INSANE! As soon as the door cracked open, there was a huge push as the people from the back of the line shoved the people in front of them in an attempt to get in sooner. I was sucked into the store without even noticing how I got there.

I tried to make my way back to the electronic department, so I could get my TV and leave this madness behind. But I kept tripping over stupid humans who were throwing themselves down aisles in an attempt to reach an item faster. Holy crap, what has this world come to?? I was never so glad to not be a human. As I made my way past the toy section, I saw two grown women trying to tear each other's hair out over a puppet!

I finally reached the electronics department, and headed over to the TVs. I was about 15 feet away when I noticed the crazy dude in a heated argument with a cashier. The cashier had his radio on and was discretely pressing the alert button for security.

"I'm sorry sir, but we only have the 2 TVs that were advertised. They may go on sale again before Christmas, so you might be able to get it at this price again. And no, there are no rainchecks for these specials." The cashier was trying to calmly explain to this moron that there was no TV for him. Good, I though to myself, he didn't deserve to have such picture quality in his life.

"But I need this TV. The men in my head told me that if I got the TV they'd leave me alone finally. You don't understand…I need them to go away." The crazy dude was getting crazier by the minute. I realized what was happening next about 5 seconds too late, so all I could do was sit back and watch the drama unfold. "Fine! If I can't have the TV, nobody can!" With that declaration, he launched himself at the box holding my precious TV and then all I heard was glass shattering and the screams from the cashier for security.

Dammit! Now what the hell was I going to do? Rose was going to kill me if I didn't come back with something after I left her in the state I did. I searched the store for about an hour, desperate to find something that was as good a discount and was something we could use. That second part really ruled a lot of stuff out. But luck was finally on my side! I found a cool toy we could use, maybe to play a new game instead of baseball.

This was a big plastic ball that was called a "Play and Freeze Maker" **(A/N link on my profile)**. I didn't know what it did exactly, but it was on clearance for 95% off. The box it was in was torn, so maybe they had to discount it more because of that. What was left on the box sounded pretty fun:

 Shake, pass and roll the ball for 20 minutes

 Ideal for camping, picnics, parties or travel

 Ice and rock salt are added to one end of the ball

Seriously, it sounded like it was made for us! Who else would play with something that was hard plastic and you loaded it up with ice and salt? My mind reeled at the possibilities that this new toy presented. If nothing else, I could probably use it to torment the smelly dogs…that would be worth it at 1000 times the price!

I made my way up to the checkout, shocked again at the bizarre site I found. Each register had a line 10 people deep, and everyone's cart was jam packed. What did all these people buy? It was all I could do to find **one** thing in this store. I used my intimidation tactics on some particularly wimpy looking guys in the express line and managed to get out of there after only another 20 minutes.

If it wasn't for the fact that we'd need the Jeep later and it was starting to get light out, I would have run home! As it was, I doubt the speedometer dipped below 150 mph my whole trip home. After the madness that was my Wal-Mart experience, I was ready to relax with a little madness of my own. And we still had 2 hours until Rose's stores opened…we could accomplish a LOT in 2 hours!

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A/N: Hehe…check out my profile for a link to what Emmett actually bought—or ask me in a review and I'll tell you! It helps to pay attention to all the fine print on those boxes! **_

_**Please review this chapter – I'm hoping we can make it to 50 with this chapter! I love getting feedback, it inspires me to keep writing and helps make my stories better. Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers. You guys rock my world :) **_


	8. 8: Walking on sunshine

_**DISCLAIMER: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

_**A/N: thanks to everyone for reviewing and the favorites – over 50 with the last chapter – I'm speechless! Okay, maybe not, but you get the drift :) on with the chappy now:**_

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Chapter 8: Walking on sunshine**

**Alice POV**

I rolled out of Jasper's arms as my first clear vision of the contest hit.

_Emmett adjusting his strategy, deciding to get the TV instead. Some crazy guy deciding that if he didn't get the TV, no one would. Emmett prowling the aisles of Wal-Mart, desperate for anything that was a great deal so he wouldn't feel the wrath of Rosalie. Emmett buying an ICE CREAM MAKER thinking it was a toy!_

"OMC! Jasper, you have got to make sure we run by the grocery store before we get home today. There are some things we need to pick up for Emmett's new 'toy!'" My giggling turned into uncontrollable laughter and we fell off the bed as my husband helplessly reflected my own mirth back at me with more power.

"What did he buy? I thought you said he was going to get another Playstation?" Jasper looked at me with a confused expression, obviously trying to figure out what we could buy for a Playstation at the Greens & Grains.

"I won't tell you, but I'll let you guess! What does Emmett hate the most in the world?" Since Emmett already bought it and both Edward and I could easily know, it wasn't really cheating to tell him. But I loved making Jasper guess – he had the most unusual imagination.

"Um, Seth's impression of him as a vampire?" I shook my head, but grinned at the recollection. That was pretty damn funny, but Emmett hadn't quite seen the humor in it.

"Taking clumsiness lessons from Bella so he can play gym?" Jasper smiled as he was starting to enjoy this guessing game. Thinking of Emmett getting mad has that affect on pretty much anyone!

"Nope! I'll give you a hint…remember Nessie and Jake's first wedding?" I didn't need Edward's gift to see where Jasper's mind was going now. I thought back to the wonderful event myself…

_**

* * *

Flashback: 12 years ago**_

Nessie and Jake stood by the cake, holding the knife together to cut the ceremonial first piece. Instead of a traditional wedding cake, they had decided to go with their own favorites and have an intricately structured series of ice cream cakes. There were four round cakes of different sizes, connected with a bridge to a small cake in the center with their centerpiece on it. Each of the cakes was a different type; they each got their favorite flavor combinations and then got some more traditional flavors so there would be something for all the humans to enjoy.

Nessie didn't like a lot of human food, but she did have a sweet tooth. The rest of us had all done our fair share of "eating" human food to keep up with the charade in the past. It was unpleasant, but not the worst thing in the world. However, there were certain foods that each of us had found to be worse than the rest; for me it was gummy candy and for Emmett it was ice cream. He had once said that he would rather endure Jane's torture for an hour than eat even a spoonful of ice cream. Emmett, of course, really didn't pay attention to any of the planning details prior to the wedding, especially not related to the food. So when Leah dared him to eat a piece of the wedding cake, he said yes immediately.

Leah knew all about what foods we all hated; she was constantly trying to trick us into eating them. She considered it fair revenge for her having to hang around our "stinky sweetness" all the time. For a moment she considered trying to get me to eat the cake, but I just looked at her and raised my eyebrow. She blushed, realizing she was caught. Ice cream didn't bother me as much as it did Emmett, but Nessie had this bizarre love of mixing gummy bears in her ice cream and Leah was going to try to get me to eat that flavor! She knew she rarely had a chance to trick me, so she thought she'd dare me to eat another layer, but substitute at the last minute the one with the gummy bears. It almost worked, especially since I still can't see her future very well; but when Edward heard what she was planning he decided he had to be there to see it, and then I got a vision of how it would all play out. Leah gave up on me and set her sights on Emmett; he is always a much easier target for pranks.

Before the ceremony she innocently started talking to Emmett, joking with him about how lucky he was that there weren't really many people at the wedding that didn't know the truth about everyone so he didn't have to eat a lot of the food to keep up with the "human" thing. He took that as the challenge she meant it to be and claimed he would have no problem eating whatever they had at the reception. She said she'd be satisfied with him just eating a slice of cake, since that is the one thing almost everyone eats at a wedding. Supposedly it was bad luck for the couple if someone didn't eat the cake.

Leah maneuvered the two of them to be right next to the happy couple during the cake cutting, so Emmett could get his piece quickly. Nessie and Jake had just finished their piece when Emmett grabbed the knife himself. Leah's challenge hanging in the air, Emmett grabbed a huge slice of the cake and shoved it in his mouth. Ingeniously, Leah had managed to get him into a position where it would be impossible for him to not finish the cake, since he was standing in front of all the wedding guests. He slowly choked the cake down, the disgust barely disguised on his face. His mouth was still half full when he slapped Jake on the back with words of congratulations and then ran to the nearest bathroom. He didn't come out for an hour, and when he did he looked paler than ever.

End flashback

"OMC Alice! He bought ice cream? How could he not know? He has never even been able to be in the same room as ice cream since that day. That is going to be priceless!" Jazz jumped up and down, hoping that he had finally guessed right. I think I am rubbing off on him; I'm usually the only one that gets this giddy!

"Calm down Jazzy! Yes, you are right – he bought an ice cream maker!" I walked over to my bouncing husband and wrapped my arms around his waist, trying to calm his exuberance. "But don't get too excited now, we don't want anyone else to figure it out and spoil the surprise. Obviously, he has no idea that is what he bought." I felt him calm down slightly and then glanced at the clock. "Okay honey, it's after 4:30, so let's go SHOPPING!!!" I knew my excitement for shopping would definitely help take his mind off of Emmett.

"Let me grab my list and the coupons. I don't want to keep you from your calling my love!" My wonderful husband swept around the room grabbing all of our supplies as I stood helplessly in the middle of the room watching in amazement. He stopped in front of me and kissed me sweetly before grabbing my hand and running down the stairs to the garage. "May the best shoppers win," he shouted out to the rest of the house, taunting anyone who was still there! Really, this whole military strategy as applied to shopping thing is really quite a turn on. If I hadn't been the one who started this game, I might be tempted to stay home. We were already an hour behind schedule thanks to our "activities" last evening, but I didn't really care that much. Actually, maybe we could wait a few more hours…hmmm…

"That's right Alice, you are such a good shopper you think you don't need all the time? You are GOING DOWN!" Edward shouted from his room, obviously still angry about our strategy.

"Of course I don't Edward, but I really enjoy the hustle and bustle of the crowds so I want to make sure we get to experience everything. C'mon Jazz baby, let's get a move on!" Jasper had stopped in his tracks when Edward yelled, confusion written across his face. This time, I grabbed his hand as we dashed into the garage and I fired up the Porsche.

**

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Jasper POV**

I had no idea what was going on between my brother and my wife, but I had learned a long time ago that their "discussions" were better left between them unless they dragged the rest of us in. It sounded like they were still arguing about the game, so I just ignored them and focused on the strategy. Once I looked at this as a kind of war game, I found myself actually enjoying all the preparations. Whether I enjoyed the actual shopping part of it remained to be seen.

With Alice behind the wheel, we covered the 20 miles to the mall in less than 10 minutes. When I noticed the speedometer over 130 mph on the highway, I gave her a questioning look.

"What? I have to practice to make sure I don't lose too much time bringing back our bounty in the middle of the day matey! Don't force me to make ya walk the plank!" When she looked over at me, she had one eye closed and a silly grin on her face.

"You do know it isn't 'talk like a pirate day' right? That was sometime in September I think." I loved my little pixie more than life itself, but sometimes I had no idea where her mind was coming from. I both envied and pitied Edward for his gift; often I actually didn't _want_ to know what she was thinking!

"I know silly! Seth has that day circled in red on all our calendars; you know it's his favorite 'holiday.' I was just thinking about something you're going to buy today, that's all." She winked at me after her cryptic answer. I had no idea what she was talking about; there was nothing pirate related on my list right now. But I knew better than to question her.

We walked over the JC Penney and I noted that there really wasn't much of a line. The coupons here were simply based on the total quantity spent, so I hadn't really done much research here. From looking through the sale flyer, I didn't see much Alice would like, so I was actually surprised we were even here. We walked right past all the clothes, shoes and jewelry and made our way up the escalator to the furnishings department.

I gripped Alice's hand tightly on the escalator; to be honest, I was a little afraid of them. Only Edward knew, thanks to the trip we made to DC where we had to go up what seemed like 30 stories on an escalator. I had jumped off and run up the stairs at vampire speed, rushing past the commuters like a burst of wind and met my family at the top. He covered for me, saying he dared me to do it. It was ridiculous, a vampire afraid of an escalator; but I think it probably had to do with the fact that a lot of other people were afraid of them and I was constantly assaulted with feelings of fear and terror whenever I was on them. That was the same reason I rarely went on the really scary rides at the amusement parks we went to.

"What on earth are you getting here dear? I know I don't shop much, but I have never seen a designer label on anything here." I was quite confused, and actually quite eager to get down to the things on my list.

"Be patient my love. Sometimes you have to search for a diamond in the rough." As she said that, she spun around with some brightly colored paper ball lanterns in her hands, holding them up triumphantly. "I've been looking for these for quite some time but haven't been able to find any that will work until now! These will be perfect as lights on the gigantic fir tree behind the house…I want to go really crazy decorating for Christmas this year!" She grinned, bouncing with excitement.

I just shook my head, laughing. "That tree has to be at least 50 feet tall! I guess you need lights that big to balance it all out. I'm sure they will look wonderful dear, but I'm thinking you already know that." I led her to the checkout, listening as she described her other decorating tools.

"Oh, it will look phenomenal! They have that Holiday lights contest in town this year, and we are totally going to win! I figure I can use rolls of aluminum foil for tinsel, some of Carlisle's religious relics as ornaments – he has all those angels and crosses, you know…" She drifted off as we reached the cashier, and stopped suddenly as a glazed look came over her face.

I took the lights from her and handed them to the worried cashier. "Will this be all? Is she OK sir?"

"Yup, this is all we need. She's fine, just fighting a bit of a migraine with all the crazy shoppers you know! Heh heh!" I laughed it off, trying to calm the clerk with my words and emotions so she wouldn't bring more attention to Alice. As if on cue, Alice snapped out of her vision and smiled up at me.

"I, um, just have to go over here for a minute dear. Meet you outside in 10 minutes." She winked at me, and then looked gravely at the cashier. "The fluorescent lighting really gets to me sometimes." She smiled and waved at us both and flounced off to the women's department.

I finished paying, took the bags out to the car and then went out to the mall entrance and waited for Alice. Sure enough, 10 minutes later she strode out of the store quickly, pausing only briefly to grab my hand as we headed to the next place on our task list. Macy's here we come!

**

* * *

Alice POV**

I was so excited to finally have those lights in my possession! And, they were 50% off, so that should help in the game! I was explaining to Jasper all of my decorating ideas when the vision hit me. That's when I realized that my "gift" might actual be more of a hindrance today.

Often when I shop, I will get an occasional glimpse of the shoppers around me and what they are planning on purchasing. I usually shop in more upscale stores, so there are salespeople that generally help the customers pick out their purchases and guide them in their selections. Rarely, I will get a vision of someone buying something that is totally wrong and wearing it in an embarrassing situation. I general find a nice way to talk them out of buying it and steer them to something more suitable. I just can't stand to see people wearing bad clothes!

Today, I have a feeling that the visions are going to come fast and furious. Women will so frequently buy things just because they are a good deal and not pay enough attention to what it looks like on them. Or they will have such poor body image that they don't think anything will look good on them, so they don't care. After Bella's human years, I have a little better insight into the thinking of these poor women. So when I had the vision of the overweight woman buying a tent-like dress in a bright chaotic design that made her look twice her size, I knew I had to intervene! I let Jasper know I was ok and mumbled an excuse to the checkout girl and then headed off to find this poor fashion-challenged soul.

I caught her still wearing the dress and scrutinizing it in the dressing room. If possible, it looked even worse than in my vision. She was planning on wearing it to a party, and if she did it'd be the main subject of conversation among the rest of the guests, and not in a good way. She was trying to impress a man she has a crush on, but this was not the way to do it! I walked into the dressing area, testing the waters.

"Wow, that is an interesting dress. Are you going to a party or something?" I was careful not to outright diss the dress, but I didn't want to compliment it either.

"Oh, do you like it? I'm not sure. Yes, our company is having a big holiday party next week! I need to find the perfect dress!" The woman blushed and ducked her head slightly.

"Ooh, anyone special going to be at the party? My name's Alice by the way." I was reeling her in.

"Hi Alice, I'm Meg." She sighed before answering my question with a dreamy look on her face. "Yes, David will be there. We've worked together for 5 years and I've had a crush on him since the first day. We talk all the time and get along great, but he never looks at me 'that way', you know what I mean? I was hoping the right dress might get him to notice, but who am I kidding? He'd never go for a girl like me." Her future was pretty faint, but I saw the possibility of the two of them going home from the dance and she was in a much different dress. This meant she was willing to let me advise her, so I took my shot.

"Well, when I was walking over here, I saw the cutest dress! I think it will look even better than that one on you. Wanna give it a try?" I knew she'd try it on, but I had to ask to be polite.

"Sure, that would be great! I should have brought someone shopping with me, but no one else wanted to brave the crowds. I'm not always the best judge by myself." Her eyes lit up at the thought of me helping her. I darted out of the dressing room and returned with the dress in about 30 seconds. I couldn't resist the speed, I had to see in person how good it would look.

She looked nervously at the dress, eyeing the low V-neck and short length skirt. "Trust me, I know it will look fantastic!" I shoved her in the dressing room playfully and sat on the chair in the waiting area.

"Oh WOW! I almost look sexy!" She stepped out with an incredulous look on her face and almost ran to the three way mirror to admire herself.

"Almost? You look damn sexy! That dress was made for you…see, you have to make the most of your assets! I could never wear a dress like that." While I was eternally beautiful, I could never be described as "curvy," even in a good way. Meg looked stunning, no matter how many extra pounds she was carrying. I was glad to see that her future now seemed to include joining a gym; it seemed that she was just lacking confidence and a reason to try to get into shape. I think David and I have provided her with everything she needed now.

"Thank you Alice! I would have never tried this dress on without you, but it is perfect! How can I ever thank you?" She looked simply ecstatic; I didn't need Jasper to tell me how happy she was.

"Oh, nonsense. Seeing your smile is all I need! Just promise me you'll keep trying things like that and don't let go of your sexy side again! Now, time to go buy that dress and get ready to win David's heart. Good luck Meg, I have to run now. Bye." I turned and walked away, listening to her random chatter as she tried to figure out who I was.

"But Alice, what were you doing here in the first place? Are you guardian fashion angel or something? Maybe I'm still asleep and this is all a dream? Well, I guess I better get back to my shopping or something…"

Ha ha! Guardian fashion angel; that's me!

As I skipped through the store toward Jasper, I was assaulted with visions of several women in Macy's with similar dilemmas to Meg's. It was going to be a long, but fun, day. It was like a whole day of Bella Barbie with shopping combined! Heaven on earth!

**

* * *

Jasper POV**

"So, what were you doing? Find more Christmas decorations?" My lovely wife had quite a satisfied smile on her face and I was quite curious to find out what put it there.

"Oh, no I had a vision of a fashion disaster and I had to intervene. Really, some of these women just had no idea how to dress!" She frowned slightly, as she got another quick vision. "It seems that today is going to be full of people making poor fashion decisions, so I think I will be busy playing my guardian fashion angel role. Don't worry though; I'll still have plenty of time to shop…we totally OWN this competition!"

"Okay dear, whatever you want to do. We're splitting up, right? I'll get the coupon things and you get the major purchases. I think we can spend a maximum of one hour here, so we'll meet up then to buy everything together. Have fun love!" I gave her a quick hug and a longer kiss; then I watched as she nimbly navigated through the throng of people straight to a dressing room, picking up a dress that clearly wasn't for her on the way. That's my wife, always trying to dress everyone else! At least this time it sounded like she was actually doing these people a favor.

"Try a sample of our new cologne sir?"

"This beautiful perfume set is perfect for the wife for Christmas; and it's half price today!"

Ugh, I should have learned by now not to walk through the cosmetics section. All of the scents were too much for my delicate sense of smell. I quickly shoved past all the pushy salespeople to the clearer air of the men's department. The first thing on my list was bandanas. We had frequently tried different things to mix up our baseball games and make them more challenging; I had the idea to try it blindfolded, so these bandana's would be perfect for that. Even better, they cost $11 and were not on sale, allowing me to use the "$10 off a purchase of $10 coupon." I only had to use one of the coupons, but the savings was still pretty good so I went ahead and picked up 4 packs so we would have enough for all the players

I carried them with me as I set off for the bedding department. They had a set of satin sheets advertised; they weren't on sale, but I could save $25 with my other coupon. That was 50% off! I couldn't think of anything better to use the "$25 off a purchase of $50 or more;" it was exactly $50 so I wasn't spending extra. Besides, I had always wanted to try satin sheets but I was too embarrassed to tell Alice. Emmett talked about them all the time and she always laughed at him. If I told her it was for the contest, I had an excuse.

I was debating which color to get when I felt my phone vibrate. I had a text from Alice and it was only one word: BLUE. I picked up the blue set and started toward the kitchen section. I had fulfilled my coupon requirements for this store, but I thought I'd check out a couple other things I had seen online in case they were better deals.

As I started walking, I quickly realized that although I had no problem carrying everything myself, a normal human would be struggling mightily. I stopped and looked around for a cashier. I found myself in front of the Christmas display, distracted momentarily by the three-story tree at the center of the display.

"It's a heck of a tree, isn't it? I love this time of year, especially decorating that tree." A pretty young woman wearing a Macy's badge struck up a conversation when she noticed me staring at the tree.

"Yes, it is a beautiful tree. You say you decorated it?" I noticed the look in her eyes as she looked me up and down and identified the satin sheets in my hands. I felt the waves of lust rolling off her and then I got nervous. "My wife loves Christmas; she was just talking about how she wants to get tons of new decorations this year." I pointed to the enormous star at the top of the tree. "Do you sell that here? It would be perfect for our tree at home." I grinned at her, trying to charm her but also letting her know she had no real chance.

"No, we special order it just for decorating purposes. Is there anything else I can help you with?" She looked slightly disappointed whenever I mentioned Alice, but she still was eager to continue our conversation.

"Actually, I was wondering if there was somewhere I could set these things until I am finished shopping. My wife is still in the clothes section, so we could be here for a while before we are ready to checkout!" I winked at her, trying to convince her to help me out.

"S-sure sir. If you follow me to this register, I can place your items behind the counter and hold them for you." She stammered at first, obviously excited to spend more time with me. This was actually pretty fun! I didn't often try to get humans to do things for me, but I was enjoying this. "You know, we aren't really supposed to do this, but it can just be our little secret!" She whispered to me as she slipped my packages behind her register.

"Thanks Cindy." I noted her name on her tag, and she blushed when I said it. "Do you think you could help me with just one more thing?" My Southern drawl was naturally disarming and I poured on the charm, hoping I didn't overdo it.

"Anything sir," she answered breathlessly, her heart beating erratically. Oops! I obviously went too far; I sent her some calming waves, trying to get her a little more relaxed.

"My wife would absolutely die if I could get that star for her tree. Is there any way, any way at all you could find out where it was ordered from so I could try and get one for her?" I smiled sweetly at her, trying to find the right combination of emotions to convince her to help. I felt an initial stab of jealousy when I started my question, but then it toned down to basic envy of our love by the end. I seemed to find the magical combination to make her still want to help me but not want to throw herself at me.

"Stay right here sir, I will be right back with your answer." She blushed again, and skittered off towards the back of the store. I had nothing better to do, so I stood at the counter and continued to admire the tree. Honestly, that star was perfect for what Alice wanted to do. If this Cindy couldn't help me, I'd have to get Emmett to help me come in and steal it sometime. Now that I had seen it, there was nothing that would stop me from getting it for my love.

I was lost in my thoughts about how happy Alice would be when I got the star for her that I barely noticed the passage of time. By the time Cindy returned it had been a full 30 minutes; our time in this store was almost up. I noticed Alice in the distance, watching me closely but not coming nearer. I was just about to ask her why when she nodded slightly over my shoulder. I turned and saw that Cindy was back and carrying a large box.

"We always keep a couple extras on hand in case it breaks during the season. I noticed this year that we had 5 in the back, much more than we needed. I asked the manager and he said it would be okay to sell one to you. I tried to convince him to lower the price since it had been used, but he told me he wouldn't give it to you for less than what we paid for it. I'm sorry, but it is quite expensive." She looked guiltily at me, as if it was her fault. I tried to put her at ease, again sending her waves of calm and confidence.

"Oh, with something that beautiful, I'd expect to pay at lot. I'll take it no matter the cost; surely it must be over $1000." I knew it couldn't be that much, but I threw that figure out there so she'd feel less nervous naming a price that to her was ridiculous but obviously was going to be reasonable to me.

"No sir, it isn't quite that much. Just $150! Wow, now it sounds like a bargain!" She smiled as she set it down on the counter. She looked up and noticed Alice's small figure making her way over to me, her arms full of clothes, smiling brightly at me. "Are you ready to check out now?"

Alice spoke up when she reached my side. "Yes we are dear! Thank you so much for taking such good care of my husband. I'm always afraid he'll get into trouble when I leave him alone in a store for too long!" She laid her clothes on the counter and slid her arm around my waist.

I looked down at her and kissed her gently on her forehead. Even after only an hour apart I missed her so much. As Alice continued with the transaction, chattering off and on with Cindy about the clothes she was buying, I held her tightly to me and relished every moment we had together. I spared Cindy a smile as I gathered up our bags and let myself be dragged to the car by my wife.

"You are the sweetest man in the entire world! That star is absolutely perfect for the tree! I was really struggling with what I was going to use, and you came to my rescue, as usual. Let's get this stuff to the car quickly, and then we can get back to SHOPPING!" She rambled on and I drank in every word. I noticed that I was lighter out now that the sun had come up, even if it was hidden behind the clouds. "I had to rescue 6 women in that store from fashion disasters, but I think everything worked out OK. I've already had visions of 7 people in Nordstrom's, and they just keep coming! I have my work cut out for me today, but I'm enjoying myself. I got a couple visions of Edward and Bella shopping; Bella is going to need an intervention herself! Have I taught her nothing?? Oh, there's the car. I'm just going to jump in the back and put the seat down so we have more room for…" Her words cut off with a scream as she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the car.

_**

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(A/N: You know how tempted I was to end the chapter there…)**_

I was barely in the car when I realized the reason for her scream. The clouds had broken and the sun was shining brightly on the parking lot full of people! We were trapped in the car and it's wonderfully tinted windows. "What happened Alice? How did you miss this?" She looked up at me with angry eyes, and I quickly backpedaled. "Not that I care at all, it's just that you have never been wrong about the weather before. Are you feeling OK?"

Her gaze softened a little and then she narrowed her eyes as she had another vision. "Edward!" That was all she said for a moment. Her face froze as she continued to look to the future, and then a giant grin broke out on her face. "Well, it seems our dear brother has managed to distract me with Bella's bad fashion sense enough to cause me to miss this short burst of sun. We will be trapped her for 26 minutes, and then there will be no more sun for the remainder of the day."

She began digging through the shopping bags, obviously looking for something specific. "My love, what are you looking for?"

She pulled out a pack of bandanas with a triumphant look on her face. "Arr, me hearty! Tis this yer booty? Me thinks it will prove quite fun!" As she wrapped the bandana around my head, I finally realized what her pirate talk was referring to!

"Shiver me timbers, me lass! Remind me to thank that son of a biscuit eater Edward later…" Those 26 minutes trapped in the car were some of the best minutes of my life. YO HO HO!

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A/N: Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers. You guys rock my world :) This chapter was a little longer, so hopefully worth the wait! I'm working on some of the little one-shot's I've talked about for this story and am going to publish them all in one story as "extra chapters." Be on the lookout for that soon!  
**_


	9. AN new chappy elsewhere!

_**Author's Note ONLY!! (sort of)  
**_

Sorry to get you all excited since there is no new chapter here, but there is a new chapter for this story, sort of! I have finally started on the one-shots for the random silly things that Emmett has done, and other episodes that I reference in this story but don't really fit in the narrative here. You can find the story on my profile, it is called

**"Outtakes: Black Friday Alice Cullen Style"**

I've posted a prologue explaining what the story is, as well as the first of the outtakes, which is the story of when Emmett takes Rose to Chuck E. Cheese for their anniversary.

Since a lot of people have this story on their alert list and are regularly reading and reviewing, but might not have me on their author alert list, I wanted to make sure you all knew that this new chapter was up! I won't be getting a new chapter for the real story out until next weekend probably - I can hear the boos, sorry everyone :(

Thanks for putting up with this author's note posing as a chapter! I'll try and update sooner than next week, but I hope the Emmett/Rose fun makes it up to you!!

-- MK

Here is a preview of the first chapter -- Anniversary of my dreams, oops my nightmares!

* * *

Okay, I really had to think. It was Rose and my anniversary in a few days and I really had to come through this time! Last year I forgot again, and if that wasn't bad enough, I had evidently promised her a super fabulous anniversary that year to make up for forgetting the previous year! So this year, if I didn't come through, I was so screwed; well, I guess to be accurate I was so NOT screwed. Cuz that wouldn't be happening any time in the next decade for sure.

I had put Nessie in charge of reminding me in that special way of hers. I figured that after two years of people saying "Emmett, don't forget your anniversary this time, Rose is gonna be pissed!" not working, I needed something a little stronger. So I asked Nessie to "show" me Rose's face the night of our last anniversary when she realized that I had forgotten again every month throughout the year to remind me. And then, in the month leading up to it, every morning as inspiration.

She had done just what I'd asked and more. Over the past year, she had helped me design the most beautiful necklace of white gold and diamonds; it had two hearts joined together placed on either side of the necklace and as part of an elaborate pendant hanging in the center. It was beautiful, just like my Rosie. It could never hold a candle to her, but it would complement her greatly. The two hearts joined together, along with the combination of the delicate chain and solid diamonds reminded me so much of the two of us. See, I wasn't always just a jokester! I could be deep when I wanted to!

I sighed and threw down the game controller I was holding in frustration. My mind wasn't in it and I was tired of Jasper and Jake beating me. "But a necklace is not going to be enough dammit!" I got up and walked into the kitchen, hoping to find Nessie or maybe Bella; I sat down glumly when I remembered that Alice had kidnapped all the women for one of her marathon shopping trips. Instead, the J boys followed me and offered their help.

"Woman trouble, bro?" Jake patted me on the shoulder as he walked past me for the fridge.

"You guys know that it's our anniversary on Saturday and I just don't know what to do!" Really, this was embarrassing. I felt like I was going to cry.

Jasper must have picked up on it, because suddenly I started to feel really relaxed. I just glanced at him and nodded slightly, too embarrassed to voice my appreciation.

"It's our anniversary? Darn, I should have gone shopping with the girls! I didn't get you anything Sparky baby! You'll just have to make do with a hug!" Jacob squealed in his bizarre falsetto voice as he abandoned the food he'd grabbed out of the fridge and wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"You better not call me that again, DOG! And get your arms off me before I remove them myself!" I growled at him, taking out my anger on him. Honestly, he should know better than to call me Sparky when I'm upset. Why he thinks it is funny is beyond me; something about how vampires sparkle in the sun and him not wanting to be the only dog in the family.

"Okay, man, I was just trying to lighten the mood. So, you need something special to do for your anniversary, right?" Lucky for him, Jake moved to the other side of the table and dug into the mound of food he'd gotten out mere seconds before I was going to throw him through the wall. I guess lucky for me too; Esme would NOT have been happy about that.

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Read the rest in the Outtakes story!! Hope you like it :)


	10. 9: Fashion Disaster

_**DISCLAIMER: my plot, SM's characters and backstory…sadly…**_

_**A/N: sorry it has taken so long for this to be posted, but it is getting into my busy season now! Lots to do, and unfortunately it isn't all writing fanfics :( Hope you like this chapter…all Edward, all the time**_

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Chapter 9: Fashion disaster**

**Edward POV**

I was lying down, contentedly stroking Bella's hair when my brother's taunt echoed through my mind and off the walls.

"May the best shoppers win!"

And then I heard my sister's thoughts and realized that she was so cocky she figured she didn't even have to try to win the game. That did it! All of Bella's calming influence couldn't contain me anymore. I launched myself up from the bed, into the doorway and shouted down to my siblings.

"That's right Alice, you are such a good shopper you think you don't need all the time? You are GOING DOWN!"

"Of course I don't Edward, but I really enjoy the hustle and bustle of the crowds so I want to make sure we get to experience everything. C'mon Jazz baby, let's get a move on!" She just continued to fan the flames of competition until the moment they drove out of hearing range.

Bella had been watching me during the entire exchange with an amused look on her face. "Edward, just what did Alice think to get you so worked up again?"

"Nothing much honestly, just some thoughts about not needing as much time as the rest of us to shop. Really, I don't care if we win, I just want her to lose!"

"Well, we're never going to win if we don't get going too! Cmon, Edward, get your sexy butt over hear and let's get ready to go. You better put on something particularly dashing so you can dazzle our way to some great deals!" Bella threw me some tight jeans and a black t-shirt that I could barely get on.

"Um, honey, what the hell is this? I look like I shrunk my clothes in the wash and didn't realize I couldn't breathe once I put them on! You can't seriously expect me to go out in public like this, do you?" I turned away from the mirror and then saw what she was wearing; we very nearly missed the entire competition. "WHAT IS THAT?"

She spun around as though on a catwalk in a black leather "dress" that barely reached her mid-thigh and barely hid any of the ample cleavage it created. "Alice mentioned something about Rose wearing something to help her win; I figured two could play at that game! It is high time I listened to you and acknowledged how gorgeous I really am, at least to poor, innocent humans!" She winked at me and spun around again, slowly, so I could get the full effect.

Almost without thinking, I pounced on her, and then the "dress" had a few more holes in it. She just laughed and wriggled out of my grasp, wrapping herself in a robe she had thrown on the bed as she was getting dressed.

"Really, Edward, we need to get going if we are going to have any chance to stop 'Hurricane Alice' from winning today! I guess this was a little much, eh? Back to my standard wardrobe then, but no changing for you!" Before I could protest, she was dressed in a much more suitable, yet still amply sexy, outfit of tight jeans, low heeled boots and a fitted v-neck t-shirt. A small whimper escaped me as I reluctantly followed her out of the bedroom to the car like a puppy dog.

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AT THE MALL (still EPOV)**

We wandered around the mall, staying in stores near Alice and Jasper so I could easily monitor their progress. It became clear very quickly that Alice's gift was proving to be rather distracting today and I rapidly devised a plan to use that to my advantage. In an effort to hide it from her, I kept changing my plans on how to use my new-found knowledge, hoping she'd be too distracted to see the outcome of my plans before I enacted them. It helped that I still wasn't sure when the right situation would come about to begin the plan.

"Well, when Rose hears how Alice's day really went, I think she'll realize that Alice's gift didn't really help her much." I chuckled lightly, thinking of how the fashion crisis my sister had just averted was only the beginning.

"What's going on? What are her visions showing her?" Bella grinned up at me, obviously intrigued by what could be derailing Alice's legendary shopping skills.

"She keeps getting visions of people in the store near her buying things that look absolutely horrible on them. She feels the need to perform a fashion intervention with each and every one of them, so you can imagine how distracting that is. You know how many women will buy something just because it is on sale, so even if they normally have decent taste, it gets stretched a bit when there is the possibility of owning a pair of $200 jeans for only $15."

"Ah yes, the 'sale goggles' phenomenon. I had completely forgotten about that. I can't believe she didn't see this, but I guess everything is a quick decision. Most people don't go to a store with the intention of buying ugly clothes." I could see from the wide look in her eyes that in that instant Bella had thought of a plan similar to mine. She wasn't in the position to know the best way to use it effectively, but if we talked about it then there was a significant chance Alice would figure it out. Her thoughts were still cluttered, but at this point she was still watching out for chicanery from the rest of us.

"How challenging is it for you to 'double-wrap' me, love? I think I have an idea, and I can most likely carry it out without your help, but if you could help protect me from Alice's visions it would be a bit easier." I was sure I could keep myself from deciding what to do until it was too late for Alice to avert disaster, but I wanted to at least hint to her that she should also try and dodge her visions. Plus, there was always the possibility that Bella's newfound ability could allow us to scheme openly.

"Well, I'll try it for a while and see. But remember, we've never tried it on Alice, and I'm not sure it will work. It is pretty difficult to evade her visions, just look at the progress she's made with Nessie and Jake over the last few years. I'm not sure we should rely on my gift to protect your plan." Bella looked meaningfully at me as she carefully rifled through a bargain bin for a matching set of sheets in the perfect shade of blue. "Damn! All I can find is one pillow case. And we all know how rough you are on pillows…"

"Ha ha, very funny dear, will you be here all week? I didn't realize there was a 2 drink minimum to come in this store. And what exactly do we need new sheets for? Alice just ordered all those 1500 thread count ones from France last month; honestly, what she thinks we are going to do with 50 sets of sheets, I have no idea."

"First of all, thank you, yes I will be here all week and it is a THREE drink minimum for you. Secondly, if you don't know what Alice is thinking, then none of the rest of us even stand a chance! And finally, I have something very particular in mind for these sheets, they are the perfect color and TADA here is the matching pillow case. Plus, at 80% off, they will really help us in the competition." Bella looked over at me and winked when she pulled the pillow case out. I wasn't sure what exactly she was thinking, but I decided a surprise would be just fine with me.

"I think you are right about not knowing whether your shield can protect me from Alice's gift; it doesn't seem worth the effort since we will definitely need it on Jake and Nessie later. So, if I start asking you to do some weird things later, just go with it." It seemed clear from the immediate change of subject that Bella was working as hard as I was to keep her mind off of the distraction plan. When it got down to time to act, I'm sure we'd be able to improvise.

"Okay then, love; whatever is necessary for 'the cause.' Now, I'm going to go talk to that clerk over there and see if I can't get these sheets at a bigger discount. You better make yourself scarce!" She patted me playfully on the butt, spun around and sashayed over toward the checkout counter. The poor high school boy who was manning the cash register almost fainted when she smiled at him. Normally the thoughts that were running through his mind would be testing my patience, but knowing that she was doing it intentionally made the whole situation simply comical.

However, after a few more moments of very explicit fantasies on the boy's part, I decided to heed my wife's advice. I wandered around the store, casually looking at silk ties and bathing suits; I wondered idly when we might be able to convince Carlisle and Esme to let us have another honeymoon on Isle Esme. Shaking off thoughts of the colorful ties, Bella and the wrought iron bed frame in the blue room, I focused all my efforts on Alice's scattered thoughts, trying to find a suitable situation to enact my plan.

Her thoughts were a mess, with visions of various sales, people buying things they shouldn't, and the changing weather drifting in and out. I took note when she saw that the sun would come out for about a half hour in another 45 minutes, right when she was planning her initial trip to the car to unload some of her bags. She barely registered that she would need to alter her timing of the trip to the parking lot when she was hit with two more visions of shoppers in need of her fashion advice. I was still laughing lightly to myself when Bella floated over to me after making her purchase.

"What's so funny my love? You'll be proud of me, I was able to get another 10% off when he used his employee discount! Was he imagining me as his wife or something crazy like that?" After all this time, she was still so naïve.

"Well, it was a lot more like he was imagining the two of you on your honeymoon, but that wasn't what I was laughing at. I've finally figured out how to put my Alice plan into action, and we are going to have to hurry!" I grabbed her arm and rushed her out of the store, headed straight for JC Penney's. Bella's fashion sense could be dangerous if unleashed in any store, but it was particularly vexing to Alice in that store. Bella seemed to think that as long as it had a designer name on it, it should be fine in Alice's world. She didn't quite grasp the concept of knock-offs and low-end designer brands. I would barely have to instigate her to distract Alice.

"Where are we going? Do you think I should try to shield you?" Bella questioned me casually as we walked as fast as we could without attracting attention toward my planned destination.

"JC Penney's, and you, my dear, are going on a shopping spree! Don't bother trying to shield me, Alice is getting so many visions at this point she won't be able to tell that this is a set up. It helps that you are so devastatingly fashion challenged; you really won't need to act for Alice to be disgusted with what you pick out." With that, my sweet, loving wife punched me in the arm, using her full strength; it was all I could do to remain standing. Ow, that stung. Maybe I shouldn't have insulted her fashion abilities so much; oh well, I'll just have to find a way to make it up to her. I guess she was thinking something more along the lines of setting someone else up as a fashion disaster, rather than using her own "talents" for distraction purposes.

"What? _I'm_ going to be one of the fashion disasters she needs to avert? Stupid pixie, nothing is ever good enough for her. I'll show her, I'll pick out the best outfit ever, with fancy designer clothes, and she'll have to admit that I'm finally capable of doing my own shopping. And then maybe I won't be tortured with her endless shopping marathons. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Get out of my way Edward, I have the perfect outfit to find!" Bella's rant started out low, barely loud enough for even me to hear, but she picked up steam as she got angrier and was shouting the last words as she pushed past me into the ladies department.

I found a "husband's chair" near the dressing room and sat down, waiting for the show. Sure enough, Bella came in with an armful of clothes in all different colors and styles in record time. She modeled each outfit for me, and honestly it seemed like Alice's lessons were finally paying off. She was always beautiful to me, no matter what ridiculous combination of fabric she was wearing; but some of the shirts and dresses she was trying on today were really playing up her best features.

I checked in with Alice as I watched Bella's fashion show, and realized just how skilled she was getting at selecting clothes – Alice hadn't had any visions of Bella at all! I only had about 20 minutes to distract her enough so she would get trapped in the parking lot. It was time to abandon the secrecy and go at this attack with full force.

"Bella, my love, can you come out here for a second?"

My gorgeous wife walked out in a dress with which even Alice couldn't find a flaw. It hugged her curves with satin in a deep midnight blue, displayed her beautiful legs with slits on both sides of the skirt all the way up her thighs. The halter top gave a hint of cleavage, but covered enough to make it a subtle sexiness, so fitting for my shy Bella. For a moment, I forgot all about the contest yet again.

Bella caught the look in my eye and quickly darted back into the dressing room. I followed her, reluctantly moving at a deliberate pace to not alert the dozens of people milling around. I had just reached the door to her dressing cubicle when something shiny and blue flew over the top and landed on my head. Confused, I pulled the dress down and stared at it. A bizarre vision of Bella in florescent colors was flashing through Alice's mind at that moment and truly stressing her out.

"Edward, you hold on to that, I definitely want to get it. Anything that makes you look at me as though I was a mountain lion is an excellent selection in my book. But we don't have time to indulge those fantasies right now; we have a game to win! I'm guessing you called me because whatever I'm doing now isn't working, correct?" She spoke to me through the dressing room door, and I could hear the shifting of fabric as she tried on yet another outfit. What I didn't realize was that she was one step ahead of me.

This time when she came out of the dressing room, all I could do was laugh. "Oh my, darling, you look ravishing! You have really gotten into the spirit of the game now. How on earth did you come up with that combination?"

"Well, I figured that I should just take Alice's advice…and then reverse it! See, stripes are good, but not if they are horizontal." She pointed to the bizarre leggings she was wearing with hot pink and neon green stripes running sideways the whole length of them. "And Alice always says I should stay in the primary color families, so a neon theme is definitely required." Next she spun around to showcase the elaborate bow on her backside. "I wanted to pay homage to our little role-play last night, so I went with the old fashioned derriere enhancement. And don't you just love the way the pinks in the dress are such a different shade compared to the leggings?" She indicated to the spot on her leg where the pale salmon of the dress matched up to the hot pink on her legs; I doubt it is possible to find two more different shades of the same color.

"Yes, that has already attracted her attention. You are lucky she is so distracted, or she would have seen right through this pathetic attempt to trick her. Even Emmett wouldn't have tried to put that outfit together!" I shook my head, laughing to myself at my silly wife.

Bella simply grabbed me by the shoulders and spun me around to face the racks of clothing. She didn't need to point out the display; it called to me like a beacon in the haze of shoppers. In the middle of the designer section was an entire display of neon clothes, with the exact outfit Bella was wearing prominently exhibited on a mannequin in the center of the entire thing. The only thing she was missing was the bizarre green cape that was wrapped around the model's shoulders.

"I see you eyeing the cape; that is a very fascinating piece of clothing. It is apparently some sort of netting in an iridescent fabric, so it shimmers as the light moves on it. While this," she gestured to what she was wearing as she spoke, "is a bit of stretch at even my fashion challenges, I knew that if I added a sparkly cape, Alice would have been tipped off immediately."

"That's very true my dear. Who can forget the great cape incident of 2015?" A girlish giggle escaped my lips as I remembered the epic battle around the prom dresses that year. I quickly stifled my laugh when I saw Bella's expression. "Relax, love. It's been over a decade, try to let it go. I'm sorry I brought it up. But I think we've accomplished our mission, so why don't you get changed and we can go witness our victory."

Bella stalked back to the dressing room, still seething over the memories. "You're right, it has been ages. And ten years of picking out my own prom dresses has almost been worth it. Why don't you go and purchase my new dress, and I'll meet you at the store entrance. Try to dazzle your way to a discount."

I picked up the dress and headed to the nearest checkout. The woman at the cash register was practically drooling as I approached her. Her thoughts were similar to most of the middle-aged women I encountered; focusing on the fact that I appeared to be young enough to be her child in an attempt to quell the rising tide of fantasies. I glanced at her nametag – Anne. "Hello Anne, how are you holding up with all of these crazy customers?" I shot her my famous crooked smile, the one that Bella always said she couldn't say no to. "Have you been making many good deals today?"

"H-h-hello there. Did you find everything you were looking for?" She nervously stuttered as she tried to make conversation. Really, sometimes it was too easy.

"Well, my dear Anne, not quite. I found this beautiful dress for my sister, but I'm afraid it is a little out of my price range. I was hoping it might be on some sort of sale I'm not aware of so that I can get it for her Christmas present." I was tempted to use the classic line of "not until you give me your number," but I thought that was a little bit overboard; besides, I really didn't like to lead people on. This unsuspecting woman was embarrassed enough to be having fantasies about me, I didn't need to push her over the edge.

"Well, we aren't really supposed to do this, but I know other cashiers have done it today. I can use my employee discount and that would bring the price down by another $20. Is that enough for you to be able to afford it?" She looked up at me, her cheeks flushing as she whispered her plan to me.

"Why Anne, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble! But yes, I would be able to get it at that price, and I am so excited at the idea of my sister opening that present on Christmas morning."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all! I'd be happy to do it; it isn't every day I see a nice young man buying such a lovely present for his sister. Let me ring it up for you." She seemed to regain her composure as we got down to the actual transaction. However, when she hung the dress to put it in a bag, whatever composure she had escaped her the minute the hanger touched the rack. "Oh my, th-that is a very special dress. You said this is for your sister?" She looked tentatively at me, raising one of her eyebrows.

"Oh yes, I can see what you mean. She had picked it out to wear to the New Year's Eve ball with her boyfriend, but her car broke down and she had to spend all the money she had saved up for it to fix her car. I couldn't bear to see her heart broken when she had to wear her old dress to the dance." Years of lying had made me an expert. I could come up with cover stories like this in my sleep. I still had most of my focus on Alice and heard her thinking that it was almost time to take the packages to the car.

Luckily, Anne believed my story and the rest of the purchase was uneventful. I grabbed the dress and met Bella at the entrance, handing her the receipt.

"I see you dazzled your way to an employee discount as well, perhaps we need a little competition between the two of us." She winked at me as the placed the receipt with hers in her purse.

"I think there are enough competitions going on right now, we should probably just focus on the rest of them love." I wouldn't stand a chance against her and I was a little afraid of what the terms of the competition might have been.

"That's probably for the best. I never had a chance against your dazzle anyway. So, where are we headed now?" My amazing wife, never realizing just how dazzling she really was herself.

"We are going to watch Alice and Jasper take their packages out to the car." We were headed right to the door, but I pulled Bella to the side and sat us down on a bench inside, facing the parking lot.

"Oh, that's a good idea. We should take our things out while we're here. Why are we stopping…OH! Brilliant!" We watched as Alice frantically dragged Jasper into the backseat of her Porsche, moments before the sun peaked out from the clouds.

I heard Alice register that we had tricked her, and then I was confused when her thoughts started focusing in on a pirate theme. I caught on as soon as Jasper did, and unfortunately I saw how the whole thing was going to play out in his mind before I was able to escape his thoughts. Hopefully, they'd find that punishment enough for our little prank.

"How long are they going to be trapped there?" Bella grinned when she saw the whole plan come to fruition.

"Just another 25 minutes, but I think they are truly going to appreciate every second of that time. I might need some bleach to get some of those images out of my mind! Let's go and find that daughter of yours and her dog." I lost the high from tricking Alice pretty quickly once I was assaulted by their mental images.

Bella took my hand and led me over to a music store I hadn't noticed before. "Why don't we look around in here for a little while, maybe you can find some peace of mind before dealing with Nessie and Jake. If Alice is out of the game for a half an hour, we can waste some time looking at pianos and sheet music. Who knows, maybe they'll be having a sale here!"

Sometimes I wondered if she was secretly a mind reader as well. She always knew just how to cheer me up, and the right thing to say whenever I needed a dose of common sense. Really, what could I possibly have done in this long life to deserve spending eternity with this magnificent creature?

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A/N: Okay, I'm not that happy with this chapter, both characters seem a little OOC to me. But I wanted to update, and I think it is pretty good. Please let me know your thoughts!! Thanks to all my faithful readers and reviewers. You guys rock my world :) Thanks also to everyone who checked out the Outtakes story…another chapter of that is coming up soon as well!  
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